Men and Women want different Emotional Payoffs from each other
  1. Empathy is a cornerstone of a healthy, connected relationship. 
  2. However, men and women actually want different emotional payoffs from each other. 
  3. The study by the American Psychological Association demonstrated that:
  • Men like to know when their partners are happy.
  • Women want the man in their life to know when they are upset.

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Men, Why Empathy in Relationships Matters and How you Can Step it Up | LoveAndLifeToolBox

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ScienceDaily.com

"Women are Happier in Relationships Where Men Feel Their Pain.”

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What is Empathy?

Empathy is the ability to recognize another person’s beliefs and emotions; to not only put yourself in another person’s shoes but respond to their needs.

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Shiri Cohen, PhD and author of the study

"It could be that for women, seeing that their male partner is upset reflects some degree of the man’s investment and emotional engagement in the relationship, even during difficult times. This is consistent with what is known about the dissatisfaction women often experience when their male partner becomes emotionally withdrawn and disengaged in response to conflict.”

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Some of the Ways Men can Demonstrate Empathy
  1. Follow up and ask her about something that was bothering her.
  2. Ask her about her day. Listen for the emotional content under the facts and dig deeper with her.
  3. During an argument listen without interruption and validate her feelings.
  4. Recognize that she is separate from you and is justified to have separate feelings and desires.
  5. Refrain from always having to be right.
  6. Let her see you practicing empathy in other areas of your life.

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Make Empathy a Conscious Practice Daily
  1. The presence or lack of empathy shapes all of us from our earliest attachment relationships with our parents or primary givers. 
  2. It’s an important skill to hone in all of your relationships. 
  3. Men or women can struggle with empathy. 
  4. It’s also important to note that the study findings also show that the more men and women try to be empathetic to their partner’s feelings, the happier they are.
  5. So, make it a conscious decision to practice empathy consciously daily.

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For Women

Share more happy moments / stories to your partner because men wants to know when you're happy!

A good way to do this is to practice "no-complaint day" - a day where you don't complain about anything at all! Thinking and sharing more happy moments will make this easier!

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