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You avoid anything that leads to a bigger commitment. You're always wondering: "if it goes wrong, how can I extricate myself easily from this relationship?"
Because commitment reduces your ability to leave a relationship without financial or emotional consequences, you tend to avoid it.
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The aim of Gaslighting is to deny the other person's reality or experiences. It is a sign that you don't really believe your partners' feelings are real.
For example, if your partner says: "I'm really upset that you canceled our date", you respond with something like: "You're not really upset, it's your fault I canceled and you're just trying to blame me for it."
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You break up with partners on the slightest of issues, only to start dating another person right away and repeat the cycle.
You don't want to be seen as a "player" but you can't seem to find someone who you can commit to.
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When they spend time with other people without you, you fret, text constantly, experience jealousy, and ask for proof that they're being faithful. This may lead your partner to break up with you because they find you controlling.
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You find fault with every little thing they do, from the way they cook to the clothes they wear. You are impossible to please, and your partner eventually gives up trying and breaks up with you.
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When your partner wants to address a problem, you avoid the topic or simply say: "I don't think we're having an issue; it's going to go away."
Your partner grows resentful of your inability to face problems together and leaves.
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You always talk about yourself in self-deprecating ways: "I'm not as smart as you", "I'm just an idiot, why are you with me?", "You're just with me because you pity me", etc.
This is a sign of low self-esteem, and most people do not enjoy being told that they love someone who is worthless.
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Key Ideas
We come out of our family of origin with a blueprint of how we attach to others. The closer someone is to another person, the greater the likelihood that their attachment style can becom...
Journal about the experiences in your relationship that trigger behaviors you experience as self-sabotaging. Ask yourself: What was happening? What did you feel at the time? What were you afraid of? How likely is it that the outcome you feared would happen?
Having an awareness of what triggers these behaviors can prepare us for the inevitable conflicts that arise.
Insecurity in relationships is inevitable because everybody has issues to work on.
It’s critical to know what yours are. With this insight, a person can then stop negative behaviors, learn to tolerate the discomfort, and engage in alternative and more healthy behavior.
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For many people, the fear of rejection and the fear of engulfment keep them out of relationships.
These fears are based on false beliefs, such as success or failure defines my worth as...
Relationships:
Work:
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Key Ideas
This goes back to your childhood.
For example: if you’re drawn to the excitement of meeting and starting a relationship with someone who has a lack of morals, character and is untrustworthy, try to find out about how your parents’ unhealthy habits have affected your choice in partners.
If you have a fear of abandonment and rejection and you are constantly ‘setting’ up scenarios that lead to your disappointment, you are the puppeteer controlling this.