Reassurance-seeking is like outsourcing emotional labor onto other people. And not only does it kill your confidence, it also tends to sabotage your relationships and lead to people becoming resentful of you.
Each time you second-guess yourself, it’s a tiny message to your brain that you don’t believe in yourself. So if you only do it occasionally, no big deal. But if you’re in the habit of constantly second-guessing yourself, think about what you’re teaching your brain?
If you want to feel more confident, you need to make your peace with uncertainty and accept the responsibility of making decisions and living with the consequences
If you’re in the habit of always catastrophizing, not only will it chip away at your confidence in your ability to handle difficulties in the future — it’s also going to make you incredibly anxious and stressed out all the time.
Just like it’s hard to feel confident if you’re always predicting that disaster is about to strike, it’s similarly hard to feel confident if you’re constantly reminding yourself of your mistakes and failings.
It’s hard to feel confident about the future when you won’t let go of the past.
The fear that keeps your confidence low doesn’t come from the thing itself, but from the feelings about it.
If you want to feel more confident, start to cultivate a healthier relationship with your fear. Start acknowledging it and validating it instead of trying to avoid it.
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