Just like it’s hard to feel confident if you’re always predicting that disaster is about to strike, it’s similarly hard to feel confident if you’re constantly reminding yourself of your mistakes and failings.
It’s hard to feel confident about the future when you won’t let go of the past.
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Each time you second-guess yourself, it’s a tiny message to your brain that you don’t believe in yourself. So if you only do it occasionally, no big deal. But if you’re in the habit of constantly second-guessing yourself, think about what you’re teaching your brain?
If you want to feel more confident, you need to make your peace with uncertainty and accept the responsibility of making decisions and living with the consequences
If you’re in the habit of always catastrophizing, not only will it chip away at your confidence in your ability to handle difficulties in the future — it’s also going to make you incredibly anxious and stressed out all the time.
Reassurance-seeking is like outsourcing emotional labor onto other people. And not only does it kill your confidence, it also tends to sabotage your relationships and lead to people becoming resentful of you.
The fear that keeps your confidence low doesn’t come from the thing itself, but from the feelings about it.
If you want to feel more confident, start to cultivate a healthier relationship with your fear. Start acknowledging it and validating it instead of trying to avoid it.
How can you “find your ground”?
The purpose of the exercise is to slow down, be still for a moment. Take in the details of your surroundings using each of your senses. Strive to notice small details that your mind would usually tune out, such as distant sounds or the texture of an ordinary object.
Our entire life is an experiment, where we are pursuing our goals and finding out what works and what does not.
A scientific, experimentative approach to life leads us to acquire what we want in life, to build good habits, improve our relationships and become a better version of ourselves.
The poi nt isn’t to read Crime and Punishment on day one. The point is to get you reading. So start with what’s easy and what you’re into. Seriously, guilty pleasures abound (I like I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell and Shit My Dad Says).
Once you’ve tested the waters (maybe 2 — 3 months), start to grapple with tougher books, maybe even the canonical texts. To use what you read, start implementing this strategy . Don’t worry about this until you’re hooked though.
Life is short.
There are cars to drive, projects to finish, and girls to woo. If a book doesn’t have you engaged after 50 pages, move on to the next one. I know this might go against your instincts, but forget it — your instincts stopped you from reading and made you watch all 5 seasons of Jersey Shore.
❤️ Brainstash Inc.