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4. You dwell on past mistakes
Just like it’s hard to feel confident if you’re always predicting that disaster is about to strike, it’s similarly hard to feel confident if you’re constantly reminding yourself of your mistakes and failings.
It’s hard to feel confident about the future when you won’t let go of the past.
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MORE IDEAS ON THIS
1. You’re addicted to reassurance
Reassurance-seeking is like outsourcing emotional labor onto other people. And not only does it kill your confidence, it also tends to sabotage your relationships and lead to people becoming resentful of you.
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5. You’re afraid of feeling afraid
The fear that keeps your confidence low doesn’t come from the thing itself, but from the feelings about it.
If you want to feel more confident, start to cultivate a healthier relationship with your fear. Start acknowledging it and validating it instead of trying to avoid it.
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2. You second-guess yourself constantly
Each time you second-guess yourself, it’s a tiny message to your brain that you don’t believe in yourself. So if you only do it occasionally, no big deal. But if you’re in the habit of constantly second-guessing yourself, think about what you’re teaching your brain?
If you want to feel more...
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3. You catastrophize about future danger
If you’re in the habit of always catastrophizing, not only will it chip away at your confidence in your ability to handle difficulties in the future — it’s also going to make you incredibly anxious and stressed out all the time.
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6. Forgiving Past Mistakes
We all have chapters in our lives we’re not proud of. Mistakes we’ve made, things we’ve said, decisions we regret. But one of the most freeing and transformative behaviors is learning to forgive ourselves for these past mistakes.
It’s human nature to err. But holding onto guilt and regret o...
4. What You Achieve
Sometimes people want to be known solely for their accomplishments.
- That person who always brags about her latest business venture may only feel good about herself when she is talking about her accomplishments.
- Or that person who just can’t stop beating himsel...
Identifying Unhelpful Thoughts
- Black and White Thinking: There are heaping piles of nuance to most things.
- Unrealistic Expectations: Cynicism is bad, but a little skepticism is essential.
- Selective Attention: If your brain is always looking for the neg...
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