Ricky Sid's Key Ideas from Keep Showing Up
by Karen Ehman

1. First, love goes through four different stages according to the New Testament.

2. Love has different languages, and we must learn how to understand each one and appreciate them.

3. Second, seek guidance from God through prayers if you need to overcome turbulent times.

Love is a powerful sentiment that has to be maintained and nourished in a marriage. However, we can’t expect it to stay the same forever, even if we care for our partner and do everything right. Love changes and takes different forms over time, and we have to learn to evolve with it and with our partners. According to new testament, love takes four different forms:

1. Erotic love

2. Brotherly love

3. Familial love

4. Love that originates with God

Erotic love- Passion: This type of affection happens when we first fall for someone, but it fades over time and evolves into something else. This type of love is selfish, as it’s all about how the other person makes us feel.

Brotherly love- similar to friendship: This is a normal and quite important stage of marriage. This part of love is conditional, as we love someone because they feel the same for us.

Familial love: We love our significant other because we’re expected to love them by this time in the relationship. However, it’s dangerous to let our love sit here for too long, as it can get monotonous.

Love that originates with God: This is unconditional love. This type is selfless, similar to the love God has for us. Love the other despite his faults and not for his acts. At this stage, a successful marriage should be kind, loving, and peaceful.

We all express and feel love differently. Consequently, understanding those differences can make a serious impact on your relationship. There are five primary love languages that people speak. These include

1. Words of affirmation

2. Quality time

3. Physical touch.

4. Acts of service.

5. Receiving gifts.

In simple terms, the words of affirmation love language is about expressing affection through spoken words, praise, or appreciation. When this is someone's primary love language, they enjoy kind words and encouragement. They also enjoy uplifting quotes, love notes, and cute text messages. You can make this person's day by complimenting them or pointing out what they do well.

Love and affection are expressed through this love language when someone gives someone else their undivided attention. This means putting down the cell phone and turning off the tablet, making eye contact and actively listening. People with this love language are looking for quality over quantity. So, when you get together, they feel loved if you are present and focused on them. Make sure that you make eye contact, affirm what the other person is saying, and refrain from offering advice.

A person with this love language feels loved through physical affection. Aside from sex, those who have physical touch as their primary love language feel loved when their partner shows physical affection in some way like holding their hand, touching their arm, or giving them a massage at the end of the day. Additionally, their idea of a perfect date might include cuddling on the couch with a glass of wine and a good movie. They simply want to be close to their partners physically.

When someone's primary love language is acts of service, they feel loved and appreciated when people do nice things for them. Whether it's helping with the dishes or putting gas in the car, little acts of service go straight to the person's heart. They love when people do little things for them and often can be found doing little things for others.

To a person whose love language is receiving gifts, gift-giving is symbolic of love and affection in their mind. They treasure not only the gift itself but also the time and effort the gift giver put into it. What's more, they do not necessarily expect large or expensive gifts, the love language receiving gifts is more what is behind the gift that appeals to them.

Sometimes it can be difficult to oversee some negative aspects of your partner and remember the good ones. Always remember that every relationship has ups and downs and that bad times only last so much. However, we can’t avoid trouble knocking at our door. When it does, you will want to be prepared. Keep in mind that God is around you at all times and that difficulties in life are inevitable, but they will pass with a little faith. Pray for an opportunity to learn, listen, and forgive, rather than cry in despair over what happens.

Remember that your partner isn’t perfect, but you knew that when you chose to marry them. Embrace their differences and respect that sometimes they are going through some changes themselves. Always remember that both of you are humans, and this means that you are also flawed. 

After accepting your situation and starting to reconnect with God, don’t expect your troubles to vanish. Instead, develop a meaningful relationship and don’t give up on your prayers while also making sure to practice gratitude and ask for patience and strength.