Not Nice Summary

• Do you walk an extra mile for people ALL the time?
• Do you blame yourself in difficult situations ?
• Do you end up feeling frustrated in uncomfortable situations ?
• Do you always ask yourself what did I do wrong ?
• Do you end up feeling overwhelmed ?

If you answered a yes to most of the questions, chances are you are being 'too nice'.

Is that a problem, you ask ? Let's break it down for you.

Being too nice comes out a few factors :

• Fear of abandonment : Fear that people would leave us
• People pleasing : We are not comfortable with people not liking us
• Neediness : Our need of emotional support and clinginess
• Fear of being alone : We are afraid of ending up alone

Notice that I have used 'we','us' and 'our' in the above terms. As humans,we crave love and emotional bonding, so it is extremely normal to fall into the trap.

1. Low self esteem : People pleasing means we depend on others a lot for validation and our choices are driven by their response. This weakens our sense of self.

2. Constant Dissatisfaction : Since our focus is not what we really want or like, we always end up unhappy with our life.

3. Emotional Burnout : We often take extra steps and give way more than we take from others. This emotionally drains us.

All in all, affects our own mental peace.

להיות "לא נחמד" זה אומר להתחיל להיות כנה עם עצמי, כשאני לא יכול - אני לא עוזר, כשמשהו לא מתאים, אני אומר בצורה אסרטיבית, מציב גבול, ולא מצטער על זה, אבל בצורה מנומסת

כתוב 3 דברים שאתה מחליט שאתה פועל לגביהם וצא לעשות אותם, אל תשאיר את זה במחשבה

אחרי שאתה מבצע, אתה כנראה תרגיש קצת רע, זה הכרחי וזה בסדר כי ככה גדלת

אל תפחד בדחייה - במקרה הכי גרוע שתקבל לא, תדע שניסית ולא תשב לחשב "מה היה אם הייתי עושה"