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You are TOO Nice.
- Do you walk an extra mile for people ALL the time?
- Do you blame yourself in difficult situations ?
- Do you end up feeling frustrated in uncomfortable situations ?
- Do you always ask yourself what did I do wrong ?
- Do you end up feeling overwhelmed ?
If you answered a yes to most of the questions, chances are you are being 'too nice'.
Is that a problem, you ask ? Let's break it down for you.
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Am I being nice or needy ?
Being too nice comes out a few factors :
- Fear of abandonment : Fear that people would leave us
- People pleasing : We are not comfortable with people not liking us
- Neediness : Our need of emotional support and clinginess
- Fear of being alone : We are afraid of ending up alone
Notice that I have used 'we','us' and 'our' in the above terms. As humans,we crave love and emotional bonding, so it is extremely normal to fall into the trap.
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Why is it a problem to be too nice ?
1. Low self esteem : People pleasing means we depend on others a lot for validation and our choices are driven by their response. This weakens our sense of self.
2. Constant Dissatisfaction : Since our focus is not what we really want or like, we always end up unhappy with our life.
3. Emotional Burnout : We often take extra steps and give way more than we take from others. This emotionally drains us.
All in all, affects our own mental peace.
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IDEAS CURATED BY
Curious about different takes? Check out our Not Nice Summary book page to explore multiple unique summaries written by Deepstash users.
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