Learn more about personaldevelopment with this collection
How to find common interests
How to be a good listener
How to overcome social anxiety
Less is more
- Keep your apology short and mind the histrionics.
- Over-apologising is not only irritating — it disrupts the flow of the conversation and shifts the focus away from the person who needs to be attended to
- You've hijacked the hurt party's emotionality and made the apology about you.
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No ifs or buts
- A sincere apology does not include caveats or qualifiers.
- 'But' almost always signifies a rationalisation, a criticism, or an excuse
- It doesn't matter if what you say after the 'but' is...
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680 reads
Good apology or No apology
- Most of us haven't been taught how to apologise
- Our efforts tend to be harmful: vague, intrusive, demanding, or full of warnings that can leave the recipient of an apology feeling even worse.
- When the apology is absent or it's a bad apology, it puts a cra...
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3.16K reads
A good apology
- A good apology is an opportunity for us to take clear and direct responsibility for our wrongdoing
- We shouldn’t blame, evade, make excuses or bring up the past.
- A good apology brims with accountability
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Be real.
- Show genuine sorrow and remorse.
- It feels vulnerable to not be in control of the outcome, but it is also courageous.
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711 reads
Drop your defences
- We listen for what we don't agree with, so we can defend ourselves and correct the facts.
- Keep an open mind and listen with an explicit intention to understand the other person.
- Try to wrap your brain around the essence of what ...
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742 reads
Remember: A good apology is a beginning, not an end.
- An apology isn't the only chance you ever get to address the underlying issue. The apology is the chance you get to establish the ground for future communication.
- An apology creates an opening. When done with attention
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557 reads
Stay Focused
- Your attention when apologizing should be on the impact of your words or deeds, not on your intention.
- Zero in on the situation at hand and stay attuned to the needs of the person who is hurting.
- It's not the two words 'I'm ...
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483 reads
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The Most Awkward Conversational Pratfalls
- Approaching for the first time someone you don’t know: focus on them, ask about them and approach humbly.
- Deciding when to end a conversation: you can end the conversation by excusing yourself and saying you have something that needs to be attended to.
- Awkwar...
Resolving conflict
- Talk together. Each person should have adequate time to say what he or she believes the other party needs to hear.
- Listen carefully to gain understanding. Give your complete attention to the person who is talking without interrupting.
- Resolution is possible on...
1. Focus only on what you want
The most common mistakes people make are:
- Talking about problems over and over again.
- Not focusing on the end result and all wonderful things
- Giving away all the energy and attention to what they don’t...
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