Don't be stupid.

Don't be stupid.

"Be compassionate,be kind,be helpful, just don't be stupid"

- Anonymous

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Not Nice

Not Nice

by Aziz Gazipura

MORE IDEAS FROM THE BOOK

You are TOO Nice.
  • Do you walk an extra mile for people ALL the time?
  • Do you blame yourself in difficult situations ?
  • Do you end up feeling frustrated in uncomfortable situations ?
  • Do you always ask yourself what did I do wrong ?
  • Do you end up feeling overwhelmed ?

If you answered a yes to most of the questions, chances are you are being 'too nice'.

Is that a problem, you ask ? Let's break it down for you.

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Am I being nice or needy ?

Being too nice comes out a few factors :

  • Fear of abandonment : Fear that people would leave us
  • People pleasing : We are not comfortable with people not liking us
  • Neediness : Our need of emotional support and clinginess
  • Fear of being alone : We are afraid of ending up alone

Notice that I have used 'we','us' and 'our' in the above terms. As humans,we crave love and emotional bonding, so it is extremely normal to fall into the trap.

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Why is it a problem to be too nice ?

1. Low self esteem : People pleasing means we depend on others a lot for validation and our choices are driven by their response. This weakens our sense of self.

2. Constant Dissatisfaction : Since our focus is not what we really want or like, we always end up unhappy with our life.

3. Emotional Burnout : We often take extra steps and give way more than we take from others. This emotionally drains us.

All in all, affects our own mental peace.

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You are not responsible for other people’s feelings.

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Not Nice

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by Aziz Gazipura

Being “too nice” can cause you problems

You're asked to do something, and you feel you should say no. However, if you say no, you'll be resented, so you are tempted to say yes. If you say yes, you're going to be frustrated with yourself and angry with them.

Research shows this cycle of awful feelings does damage to your relationships.

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How To Say No Without Feeling Guilty: 6 Secrets From Experts

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Happy people are generous
  • They give freely.
  • They spend money on experiences.
  • They spend money to benefit others.
  • They forgive (themselves and others). 

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