Why You're Sabotaging Your Relationships (And How To Stop)
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For many people, the fear of rejection and the fear of engulfment keep them out of relationships.
These fears are based on false beliefs, such as success or failure defines my worth as a person.
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Self-sabotage can be defined as the action through which you undermine your worth and goals. Even though you want something, you do actions that are contrary to achieving your targ...
Self-sabotage can appear in our lives under many shapes:
Studies revealed two main causes of self-sabotage:
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We come out of our family of origin with a blueprint of how we attach to others. The closer someone is to another person, the greater the likelihood that their attachment style can becom...
Journal about the experiences in your relationship that trigger behaviors you experience as self-sabotaging. Ask yourself: What was happening? What did you feel at the time? What were you afraid of? How likely is it that the outcome you feared would happen?
Having an awareness of what triggers these behaviors can prepare us for the inevitable conflicts that arise.
Insecurity in relationships is inevitable because everybody has issues to work on.
It’s critical to know what yours are. With this insight, a person can then stop negative behaviors, learn to tolerate the discomfort, and engage in alternative and more healthy behavior.
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You avoid anything that leads to a bigger commitment. You're always wondering: "if it goes wrong, how can I extricate myself easily from this relationship?"
The aim of Gaslighting is to deny the other person's reality or experiences. It is a sign that you don't really believe your partners' feelings are real.
For example, if your partner says: "I'm really upset that you canceled our date", you respond with something like: "You're not really upset, it's your fault I canceled and you're just trying to blame me for it."
You break up with partners on the slightest of issues, only to start dating another person right away and repeat the cycle.
You don't want to be seen as a "player" but you can't seem to find someone who you can commit to.
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