Labeling. You label yourself or others so you see your entire self (or someone else) as totally defective or superior. For example, when you make a mistake, you call yourself a “loser” instead of saying, “I made a mistake.”
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Mental Filtering. You focus on something bad and filter out all the positives—or you focus on something positive and ignore all the negatives. For example, you get one low rating in a job evaluation and conclude you’re doing a lousy job.
Overgeneralization. You think about a negative event as a never-ending pattern of defeat or a positive event as a never-ending pattern of success. For example, you label yourself “unlovable” after a breakup.
Should Statements. You make yourself miserable with shoulds, musts, or ought tos. Self-directed shoulds cause feelings of guilt, shame, depression, and worthlessness. Other-directed shoulds trigger feelings of anger and frustration toward others. World-directed shoulds cause feelings of anger and frustration toward the world.
Discounting the Positive/Negative. You tell yourself that certain negative or positive facts don’t count to maintain a negative or positive image of yourself or the situation. For example, someone compliments you, and you tell yourself, “They’re just saying that to be nice.” Feelings of inferiority nearly always result from mental filtering and discounting the positive.
Jumping to Conclusions. You jump to conclusions that aren’t warranted by the facts. There are two common versions of this distortion.
You feel the way you think. In other words, your negative emotions, like depression and anxiety, come from your thoughts and not from the circumstances of your life.
The negative thoughts that upset you are nearly always distorted and twisted. They’re just not true. Depression and anxiety are the world’s oldest cons.
When you can change the way you think, you can change the way you feel. Best of all, that change can happen rapidly, even if the feelings of depression and anxiety are severe.
Magnification and Minimization. You blow things out of proportion or shrink their importance inappropriately. This is also called the “binocular trick” because things look much bigger or much smaller depending on what end of the binoculars you look through.
In fact, this is why people often resist treatment. Their negative thoughts and feelings can be helpful and appropriate because they reflect their core values as a humans.
Emotional Reasoning. You reason from how you feel. This can be very misleading because your feelings result entirely from your thoughts and not from external reality. For example, because you feel like an idiot, you reason you must be one.
You think about yourself or the world in black-or-white, all-or-nothing categories. Shades of gray do not exist. This is also known as “dichotomous” thinking. For example, you tell yourself, “I’m a total failure” after flunking an exam.
The Book in 3 sentences-
Essentialism is a disciplined, systematic approach for determining where our highest point of contribution lies, then making execution of those things almost effortless.
It is about giving ourselves few important choices and deliberately pursuing them in disciplined manner
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