Charming people don't actively (or unknowingly) look to disagree; they look for points of agreement. Then, if it's appropriate, they gently share a different point of view, and in that way, help create an outstanding conversation.

Search for agreement instead of contradiction

Charming people are confident enough to be unafraid to show a little vulnerability. They're even willing to admit a weakness or a failure.They know that while some people may be, at least temporarily, impressed by what's artificial, everyone sincerely likes and appreciates the genuine.

Show a little vulnerability

Charming people already know what they know. They want to know what you know.

Always say less

If you really want to know how an individual treats people, take him to lunch. How he interacts with the waiter is a much better indication of his interpersonal skills than how he interacts with you.Charming people treat everyone the same way: as deserving of respect and kindness.

The waiter test

Maintain eye contact. Smile when the other person smiles. Frown when they frown.In simple, nonverbal ways, mimic the other's person's behavior--not slavishly, but because you're focused on what they're saying.That feedback loop helps two people bond--and the ability to bond is the essence of charm.

Show genuine interest

Charming people remember names and even small details, often to a surprising degree. The fact they remember instantly makes us feel a little prouder and a little better about ourselves. And that makes us feel better about them.

Remember names

Charming people may know cool people, but they don't talk about it. And that only adds to their charm.

Never name drop

Charming people don't mind serving as a cautionary tale. They don't mind being a source of laughter, for others and for themselves.And they're also not afraid to look a little silly. When you own your foibles, people don't laugh at you. They laugh with you. And they realize it's OK to let down their own guards and meet you at a genuine level.

Admitting mistakes

Touch can influence behavior, increase the chances of compliance and make the person doing the touching seem more attractive and friendly.Say you're congratulating someone; shaking hands or (possibly better yet, depending on the situation) patting them gently on the shoulder or upper arm can help reinforce the sincerity of your words.

The power of touch

Charming people ask sincere questions that make it easy to answer in a thoughtful, introspective way. They make you think, in a good way, about yourself, and in the process make you feel charming too.You feel like the most interesting man (or woman) in the world. And you like them for making you feel that way.

Masters of social jiu-jitsu

Sure, everyone knows blunt, impolite, and even rude people who are somehow extremely successful. (I know a bunch of them.) But since we're all more likely to do business and build professional and personal relationships with people we like, we're naturally drawn to people who are polite, modest, agreeable, kind.