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A Counterintuitive Way To Diffuse Difficult Situations

Your attitude is crucial

Regardless of whether you are right or wrong, your attitude will determine the outcome of any contentious experience. It’s incredibly important to have a peaceful state of mind before entering into a potential conflict situation.

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A Counterintuitive Way To Diffuse Difficult Situations

A Counterintuitive Way To Diffuse Difficult Situations

https://www.forbes.com/sites/forbescoachescouncil/2018/07/27/a-counterintuitive-way-to-diffuse-difficult-situations/

forbes.com

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Key Ideas

Diffusing difficult situations

  • Avoiding challenging conversations allows room for assumptions and continuing negative behavior.
  • Meet with the person to understand their concerns.
  • Listen without expressing your opinion or point of view.
  • If there is high emotion involved, respectfully suggest that you meet again at a later time once everyone has reflected upon the challenge at hand. 
  • Focus on the goal of arriving at a beneficial and positive conclusion.

Your attitude is crucial

Regardless of whether you are right or wrong, your attitude will determine the outcome of any contentious experience. It’s incredibly important to have a peaceful state of mind before entering into a potential conflict situation.

Choose your words wisely

  • Stay away from starting sentences with “you." 
  • Hear the other person out first. Don’t apologize, but acknowledge that there is a problem. 
  • Ask questions for clarity, and be sure that you understand all the facts before you proceed with a resolution. 
  • If you need to clear the  a false accusation, do so concisely. You can say, “I would like to present information that may clear up this matter.”

SIMILAR ARTICLES & IDEAS:

Embrace conflict

Don’t avoid conflict or pretend nothing has happened as it usually will only get worse.

  • If you notice a conflict between employees, encourage them to work it out.
  • If a ...
Resolving conflict
  • Talk together. Each person should have adequate time to say what he or she believes the other party needs to hear. 
  • Listen carefully to gain understanding. Give your complete attention to the person who is talking without interrupting. 
  • Resolution is possible only when you find points of agreement
  • Guide the conversation without taking sides. 
  • Be quick to forgive. Every conflict needs a clear resolution that acknowledges hurt feelings and finds a solution that begins to mend them.

Being A Great Mentor

Being an effective mentor for employees can help them hone their talents and skills, as well as make them feel more connected and involved in the organization.

When employees get personalize...

Find a unique connection

Build and maintain a unique connection with the employee, using your listening skills and attention to detail. Avoid the one-size-fits-all approach.

Assign Peer Mentors

Make other people who are good at a particular task mentor the newcomers for on-boarding, reducing your load and helping the new joiners. This also builds trust among the mentors, making it a win-win situation.

2 more ideas

Leadership and conflict go hand-in-hand

Conflict in the workplace is unavoidable. While you can try and avoid conflict (bad idea), you cannot escape conflict. 

The ability to recognize conflict, understand the nature of...

Unresolved conflict

 ... often results in loss of productivity, the stifling of creativity, and the creation of barriers to cooperation and collaboration.

Leaders who don’t deal with conflict will eventually watch their good talent walk out the door in search of a healthier and safer work environment.

2 Major causes of conflict
  1. Communication: Conflict due to the lack of information, poor information, no information, or misinformation. Clear, concise, accurate, and timely communication of information will help to ease both the number and severity of conflicts.
  2. Emotions: Letting emotions drive decisions. Don't place emotional superiority ahead of achieving your mission.

one more idea

Albert Einstein

"Reading, after a certain age, diverts the mind too much from its creative pursuits. Any man who reads too much an..."

Albert Einstein
Daniel Coyle
Daniel Coyle

"Our brains evolved to learn by doing things, not by hearing about them. This is one of the reasons that, for a lot of skills, it’s much better to spend about two thirds of your time testing yourself on it rather than absorbing it."

Telling Others About Your Pursuit

It can keep you accountable, but it can also lead to a false sense of completeness. One way to avoid sabotaging yourself is to state your goal as a commitment rather than progress towards the finished product.

5 more ideas

Smiling is important for leadership
Smiling is important for leadership
  • It helps others relax. A smile communicates that you are safe and can be trusted.
  • It draws people to you. If you want others to follow you, you can start by smiling...
Take on more responsibility
Command the tasks and responsibilities in your current role, then start solving the problems that your soon-to-be self would be working on.
The only way to eff...
Proactively communicate wins

Consistently exceed expectations in terms of your current role and job responsibilities. Take on more than expected, and manage these projects as well as your more senior colleagues.

Share your accomplishments early and often.

Demonstrate your accomplishments
  • Demonstrate that you have taken on additional responsibilities and provide specific details about your accomplishments. 
  • Share examples of projects you have completed and how they’ve positively impacted the business. Was there an increase in revenue? Did you save a customer? 
  • If you’ve received positive feedback from colleagues or other leaders regarding your work, be prepared to share that with your manager as well. 
  • Identify ways you’ve earned money for the company, for example through sales, upsells or creating efficiencies.

5 more ideas

Reflect on what you read
Just go back and give yourself a little time to reflect on what you just read. Sit there long enough to:
  • Mentally identify the main points or concepts.
  • Jot down some note...
Making connections

When you give yourself a few minutes to rest and think about what you just read,  you're allowing your brain to better connect the new information to what you've already done or understood.

You stand a better chance of the new memories being more powerful and easier to retrieve.

The myth of lost time

When you can remember information from your content better, you actually can end up saving time. 

You don't have to go back and look up as many facts or ideas, and you can apply the information on the fly better. 

one more idea

The Superiority Theory

It suggest that our humor is derived from the misfortune of others, which makes us feel superior.

That explains for example why a lot of us find it funny when people fall down. 

The Relief Theory

The perception of humor is directly related to the release of built up tension. We are set up through tension to get to a release point of humor. And that release has been shown to actually be good for our health.

The Incongruity Theory

We find humor when something happens that doesn't fit with what we expected to happen. It's about the unexpected.

2 more ideas

Classic ways to handle conflict
  • Conflict management assumes that conflict is a constant feature of group life. The idea is to keep it within boundaries, not to eliminate it.
  • Conflict resolution sees con...
Conflict Transformation

A way to view conflict not as a problem to be managed or resolved,  but as an opportunity to strengthen the common life of any group.

Steps of Conflict Transformation
  1. View conflict as opportunity. Learn to see conflict as a valuable look beneath the surface of your organization.
  2. Respect your adversary. Pride is the primary obstacle to transforming conflict. 
  3. Identify primary issues. Always look beyond the presenting issue to name the real problem.
  4. Envision a shared future. Begin with the question “How can we create something better for both of us?”
  5. Know when to quit. If the other party is committed to being contentious, you may need to walk away—or at least maintain a holding pattern. 
  6. Capture the learning. Capture—and communicate—the lessons from the current conflict so they help you navigate a future one.
Jerry Seinfeld

“I think money is great. But physical and mental energy is the greatest riches of human life.”

Jerry Seinfeld
Personal Energy

Energy is everything. It goes beyond status, power, and money. Personal Energy is difficult to measure, as our energy levels vary.

There are 3 types of energy:

  1. Mental Energy: It is your ability to concentrate, pay attention and focus.
  2. Physical Energy: Ability to perform physical tasks
  3. Emotional Energy: Ability to feel compassion.
Managing Personal Energy
  • Mindfulness meditation is an excellent tool to improve our focus and awareness. We can enhance our mental energy by integrating our mind through meditation, instead of getting lost in scattered thoughts.
  • Physical energy can be enhanced with regular exercise, no matter what kind. 
  • Emotional energy is intensified by human interaction. Meeting new people and spending time with people with no particular agenda is a great way to stay positive and improve your energy levels.