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How the Best Leaders Resolve Workplace Conflicts
Probing questions to ask
Once you have the basics of what happened and how long it has been going on, you can move on to asking more probing questions:
- What is the other person saying?
- How does what you've been hearing go against your values?
- What is the difference between your two perspectives?
- What aspects of this conflict do you believe you're responsible for?
- Can you put yourself in your coworker's shoes? How does she feel?
- If we were to think outside of the box, how could this issue be resolved?
- What will happen to you if this issue isn't resolved through this discussion?
- What would you offer to do or change to help resolve this issue? What would you like in return?
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Key Ideas
Ask questions
It helps you preserve your neutrality.
It is effective in getting others to pause, reflect, and get clear with themselves about what the problem actually is.
You may get each person in the conflict to see things from the other person's perspective, thus bridging the gap between them.
Be mindful during a conflict situation
- All issues are best dealt with as soon as all involved are calm.
- Start with one-on-one conversations to get the details of the issue from both perspectives.
- Recognize that there is no objective reality of the situation.
Probing questions to ask
Once you have the basics of what happened and how long it has been going on, you can move on to asking more probing questions:
- What is the other person saying?
- How does what you've been hearing go against your values?
- What is the difference between your two perspectives?
- What aspects of this conflict do you believe you're responsible for?
- Can you put yourself in your coworker's shoes? How does she feel?
- If we were to think outside of the box, how could this issue be resolved?
- What will happen to you if this issue isn't resolved through this discussion?
- What would you offer to do or change to help resolve this issue? What would you like in return?
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The spirit of inquiry
Amazing leaders are not interested in winning for their own ego. They understand that finding the truth benefits the whole team so everyone can win.
Open your mind a...
Don't assume anything
Without a face or a voice to convey emotion, written text can easily be misconstrued as being terse, sarcastic, snarky, or even mean.
Always assume you don’t know the tone of any written communication you receive and openly inquire as to the emotions of your debate partner.
Stating the desired outcome
Many people enter into a debate ready to battle with only one side knowing the rules and purpose of engagement.
Before beginning any debate or argument, discuss with the other party a purposeful outcome and define clear rules of engagement.
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A Team Needs Conflict
Overly nice people in the office, who never pick a fight, and value friendly relations with their peers and bosses, may be just as responsible for team dysfunction as the combative ones.
Conf...
Benefits Of Conflict
There is a need for conflict in teams for their effective functioning.
- It allows team members to see difficult situations.
- It helps put forward alternative solutions and diverse perspectives.
- It acts as a strength test for the solutions found.
Healthy Conflicts
A nice person's self-image is based on pleasing and agreeing with others.
Instead of just agreeing and being nice, one should add unique value and perspective.
If you only agree with everyone, you may even not be that valuable to the team.
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Tension can be positive
In a business, conflict and tension, if well managed, can be positive and allow employees to grow.
A business that has no conflict and tension is often stagnant; people are not c...
There are three sides to every story
... “my side”, “your side” and the truth.
It is often helpful to take each party aside separately to find out their concerns, but over and above this try to find a neutral party who may have witnessed or seen the conflict from a different angle.
Talk it out
Once you have addressed the parties separately, tension will not be resolved until the parties are able to talk face to face.
This must always be done with a mediator who can remain objective. The mediator would have heard both sides and can better portray the feelings of each party to the other.
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Address It Directly
When conflict arises, you need to raise the issue with the parties involved.
Emphasize the need for your employees to address it. Explain that negative feelings and thoughts c...
Listen to Both Sides
Speak with each party separately to gain their perspective on what the tension is all about.
Make sure that along with any emotional information, you discuss specific facts or events that led up to or inflamed the situation.
Bring Both (All) Parties Together
Allow them to share their version of the events or issues.
Often, this step will elicit issues or facts that the other party was unaware of.
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Leadership and conflict go hand-in-hand
Conflict in the workplace is unavoidable. While you can try and avoid conflict (bad idea), you cannot escape conflict.
The ability to recognize conflict, understand the nature of...
Unresolved conflict
... often results in loss of productivity, the stifling of creativity, and the creation of barriers to cooperation and collaboration.
Leaders who don’t deal with conflict will eventually watch their good talent walk out the door in search of a healthier and safer work environment.
2 Major causes of conflict
- Communication: Conflict due to the lack of information, poor information, no information, or misinformation. Clear, concise, accurate, and timely communication of information will help to ease both the number and severity of conflicts.
- Emotions: Letting emotions drive decisions. Don't place emotional superiority ahead of achieving your mission.
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Embrace conflict
Don’t avoid conflict or pretend nothing has happened as it usually will only get worse.
- If you notice a conflict between employees, encourage them to work it out.
- If a ...
Resolving conflict
- Talk together. Each person should have adequate time to say what he or she believes the other party needs to hear.
- Listen carefully to gain understanding. Give your complete attention to the person who is talking without interrupting.
- Resolution is possible only when you find points of agreement.
- Guide the conversation without taking sides.
Be quick to forgive. Every conflict needs a clear resolution that acknowledges hurt feelings and finds a solution that begins to mend them.
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Key Ideas
Interpersonal Issues
When it happens in the workplace, it can reduce productivity and make a dent in morale.
It takes on the shape that one person, or a group of people, frustrates or hampers another person...
Types of Interpersonal Conflict
- Policy Conflicts: disagreements about how to deal with a situation that affects both parties.
- Value Conflicts: they are typically pretty difficult to resolve because they are more ingrained.
- Ego Conflicts: losing an argument, or being thought of as wrong, can actually damage a person’s self-esteem. This is like a power struggle.
What Causes Interpersonal Conflict
- Frustration and stress
- Misunderstandings
- Lack of planning
- Bad staff selection
- Poor Communication
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Key Ideas
Collaboration
Working remotely, especially when your team is distributed across the globe, means working asynchronously, that is, across time zones. This is a skill.
Ask good questions
Don't assume that others know what you're talking about. Provide some clarifying context. Then, re-read your question, trying to identify the places that you make assumptions, and anticipate any issues that may result.
Include links to your references to ensure they're looking at the same thing you are.
Work with transparency
- Change your settings in Google Drive and allow anyone in your organization to edit new files. Then someone can make a change before they lose their train of thought. You can always revert the changes you don't like.
- Always include links.
- If you use a group chat tool, communicate in public channels unless it's a personal or sensitive issue. A public database of chats allows teammates to find answers to their own questions.
- If you have a video call, record and share it with others that weren't able to attend due to time zone issues.
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Key Idea
Hire the Right Leader
Ask the candidate questions based on:
- Results. Ask questions which focus on the outcomes of certain situations: What were the actions taken? How did he act with it?...
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Key Ideas
Begin from a place of curiosity
Lean into the conversation from a place of curiosity and respect (for yourself and the other person).
Even when the subject of the conversation is difficult, the interaction can ...
Listen and observe
You don’t actually need to talk that much during a difficult conversation. Instead, learn to listen, reflect and observe.
Be direct
Address uncomfortable situations head-on by getting right to the point.
Foster an honest and respectful discussion and make sure both parties speak about the details of an issue.
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