Once you have the basics of what happened and how long it has been going on, you can move on to asking more probing questions:
- What is the other person saying?
- How does what you've been hearing go against your values?
- What is the difference between your two perspectives?
- What aspects of this conflict do you believe you're responsible for?
- Can you put yourself in your coworker's shoes? How does she feel?
- If we were to think outside of the box, how could this issue be resolved?
- What will happen to you if this issue isn't resolved through this discussion?
- What would you offer to do or change to help resolve this issue? What would you like in return?