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5 Reasons We Worry, and 5 Ways to Worry Less
Anxiety is rewarding
Each time we worry and nothing bad happens, our mind connects worry with preventing harm:
Worry → nothing bad happens.
And the takeaway is, "It's a good thing I worried."
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Key Ideas
Anxiety is rewarding
Each time we worry and nothing bad happens, our mind connects worry with preventing harm:
Worry → nothing bad happens.
And the takeaway is, "It's a good thing I worried."
Beliefs about worry
- If I worry, I'll never have a bad surprise.
- It's safer if I worry. We believe that the act of worrying itself somehow lowers the likelihood of a dreaded outcome.
- I show I care by worrying. We need to distinguish between caring about a situation and worrying needlessly and fruitlessly about it.
- Worrying motivates me. We need to differentiate between unproductive worry and productive concern and problem solving.
- Worrying helps me solve problems. Extreme worry is more likely to interfere with problem-solving.
Tools to assist us with worry
- Calm the nervous system with guided muscle relaxation, meditation, and exercise.
- Notice when you're worrying and any beliefs that reinforce worry. Awareness of the process gives us more choice in how we respond.
- Embrace uncertainty. Most of the things we care about in life involve uncertainty. It takes considerable practice to begin to embrace it.
- Live in the present. Practice focusing your attention on the present in everyday activities like taking a shower, walking, or talking with a friend, as well as in more formal practices like meditation or yoga.
- When we face our fears head-on, they tend to diminish. Deliberately accept what you're afraid of: "It's possible I'll miss my flight."
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Fear can harm you
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Knowing that fear has the potential to harm you can help you set it aside. Fold up that fear, put it in a box, and promise you'll get back to it later at a less dangerous time.
Fear and chemicals
You may think it's your judgment deciding that something is dangerous and you should be afraid, but what actually happens is that fear chemicals are flooding into your brain.
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Overthinking
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Overthinking and action
If you're overthinking an idea you can actually do something about, the best thing you can do is take action now.
This doesn't mean you have to suddenly run off to make something, it just means you start taking a step forward. We tend to overthink because we fear failure, but if we just start working, that dissipates quickly
Break the circle of overthinking:
- Relabel the ideas you're overthinking ("self-doubt," "anxiety," etc)
- Reframe your experience and identify your thinking errors
- Refocus your attention on the part that matters
- Revalue your brain's messages with the new information
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Stressing about sleep
Before a stressful work event, we tend to worry about what will happen if we don’t sleep well:
- We worry that we’ll be physically tired.
- We worry that ...
Sleep mistakes
... we make when it comes to sleeping well before a big day:
- We try too hard to sleep and we end up making it harder to fall asleep.
- We overestimate the negative consequences of poor sleep.
Sleep restriction
It's a technique for improving the quality of your sleep by using the power of Sleep Drive (the body’s natural need for sleep). Sleep Drive is built during the day: the longer you’re awake the stronger your need for sleep.
Sleep Restriction temporarily restricts the quantity of your sleep so that you’re awake longer and therefore build up more Sleep Drive.
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