We think that we know the minds of others better than we actually do. To learn how to become more precise “mind readers,” we must first learn more about our own minds and the many flaws and prejudices we hold. Even then, reading minds remains difficult, so the best way to learn about the thoughts and feelings of the people around you is through direct communication.

The Key Message.

You’re walking past a man with no shoes and greasy hair and who smells like rotten garbage.We make a snap judgment and place him in a specific category – homeless – without any further reflection. We all categorize people in this way on a daily basis.Gender differences give rise to many stereotypes. These lead us to seeing men and women as distinct types of people, with very different mindsets (such as men as unemotional, women as over-emotional). We overlook the similarities between genders.

Snap judgments based on stereotypes muddle our thinking.

We’re all mind readers. Each of us has the ability to divine the desires, wishes, thoughts and feelings of other people.But understanding others isn’t that difficult, the fact is that we all make mistakes when it comes to reading each other’s minds.There are variety of common errors that we all make in our attempts to understand one another and the reasons behind such misunderstandings, including the stereotypes we hold, which have a major impact on our lives and even our lifespan.

How other people think by getting to know your own mind better?

Which is more human: your car or a homeless person? The answer might seem obvious, your brain might disagree. There’s a region in the brain called the medial prefrontal cortex (MPFC) that’s engaged whenever we’re thinking about other people.The MPFC is most active when thinking about people close to us, because we consider them to be as human as ourselves. But the MPFC is far less active when thinking about people with whom we can’t really identify.

We think objects having a mind, but think people as mindless.

One of the biggest obstacles in understanding other people is that we see things only from our own perspective.It’s crucial to remember that the way that you perceive a situation is unique. It follows logically that other people may have a totally different impression than your own.Why is it that we often think in such an egocentric way? The answer is simple: doing so makes us feel more important than we actually are.

When coming to a problem, we start from our egocentric POV.

We don’t really know what’s going on in our own minds. What chance then do we have of figuring out the minds of others?Very little, it turns out. It’s very difficult to know what others think of you.So while you might be confident that you’re well-liked it’s almost impossible to tell if others likes you, or just pretending.The fact is that learning more about a person does not give you a greater ability to accurately read their mind; it's merely creates the illusion that you can.

We often think we know more about others than we actually do.

We believe in the fact that we know everything about your own thoughts, right? Wrong! Unfortunately, we don’t even have access to the mental processes that construct our own behavior.The truth here is that we’re only aware of the “final product” of our thoughts. This is due to majority of our mental processes occur unconsciously, beyond our direct control.Our mind functions by making associations, meaning that two thoughts or behaviors that were previously connected can trigger one another.

How other people think by getting to know your own mind better.

An exploration of the human mind's capacity for instinctive understanding about the feelings and desires of others explains how the ability or inability to understand the minds of those around us leads to connection or conflict.

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Books

Winner of the 2015 Book Prize for the Promotion of Social and Personality Science (Society for Personality and Social Psychology) Why are we sometimes blind to the minds of others, treating them like objects or animals instead? Why do we talk to our cars, or the stars, as if there is a mind that can hear us? Why do we so routinely believe that others think, feel, and want what we do when, in fact, they do not? And why do we think we understand our spouses, family, and friends so much better than we actually do?In this illuminating book, leading social psychologist Nicholas Epley introduces us to what scientists have learned about our ability to understand the most complicated puzzle on the planet—other people—and the surprising mistakes we so routinely make. Mindwise will not turn others into open books, but it will give you the wisdom to revolutionize how you think about them—and yourself.

Nicholas Epley is an accomplished writer whose work has resonated with readers around the world. Nicholas Epley has published several books that explore a range of topics, from fiction to nonfiction, and has received critical acclaim for the ability to weave compelling narratives. Nicholas Epley's writing style is known for its depth and authenticity, and has earned quite a loyal following of readers.

When coming to a problem, we start from our egocentric POV.

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