You can’t move on while following your ex’s every post on Facebook. You also can’t watch their Instagram stories and not feel a tug at your heart strings. One basic rule of a breakup, Davis says, is to disconnect on all social media platforms.

Don’t stay connected—online or off.

Every relationship can teach you something—if you let it. Brekker says part of the healing process post-breakup is working on <a href="https://www.realsimple.com/health/mind-mood/stress/self-compassion-survive-stress">self-love and compassion </a>, along with looking fondly at the time you shared with this person. What areas went wrong? What did it teach you about what you want, and what doesn’t work for you? How can you be a better person and partner going forward? This prevents you from backtracking and romanticizing a couplehood that simply fizzled out or wasn’t healthy.

Take time to reflect and learn from the relationship.

There’s no way around it: The end of a relationship is the worst. It’s hard, it’s emotionally draining, it’s stressful and, well, it’s heartbreaking.

Recover and move on after break up

Similar to a <a href="https://www.realsimple.com/work-life/grief-what-not-to-say">death of a loved one </a>, the end of a relationship requires mourning. As matchmaker and dating coach <a href="http://huntingmaven.com/">Julie Bekke </a>r explains, you’re letting go of someone you care for deeply and detaching from the idea of a future you once envisioned.

Let yourself mourn.

Remember, there are two people in most relationships, and thus, two perspectives, two parties who made mistakes, two humans who didn’t match well enough to make it last.Try your best not to feed into ideas that you never deserved your ex or that they never deserved you. It was a two-way street, end of story, Davis reminds. Once you can face this, you can begin to face the fact that you will one day be happy without them.

Don’t play the blame game.

Has there been an art class that you’ve always wanted to take? A solo outing that’s been on your bucket list forever? As the saying goes, an idle mind can lead to all sorts of unnecessary anxiety, so staying busy can be a game changer after a breakup.

Keep yourself busy.

Dating experts and therapists share the right ways to cope with a breakup and move forward after a relationship ends, plus the choices and behaviors to avoid that will only set you back.