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How to Give Your Full Attention - Mindful
Use nonverbal cues
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Key Ideas
Mindful listening
This constant, low-grade sense of urgency can impede genuine communication.
Mindful listening - focused attention to what another person is saying, without judging or having an agenda - is a foundational skill that is rarely practised anywhere.
Hear between the words
When you’re in conversation, set your mind to being present, receptive, and ready to listen with compassion.
Bring yourself into the moment with a few deep breaths and ask yourself: What is this person communicating beyond the words they use?
Notice when your mind wanders
When you realize that your mind has drifted, let go of the thoughts and return your attention to what the person is saying.
Scan your body language
Tuning in to your own body can give you valuable information about your direct experience when listening.
Is there tightness in your chest, uneasiness in your belly? Or do you feel a lightness and a sense of joy?
Respond with curiosity
When you get fairly good at listening mindfully without speaking, begin to experiment with offering brief verbal comments that express kindness, or ask questions that deepen understanding.
The key is to keep the focus on the speaker, not to bend it around to yourself. You might try, “Oh, that sounds rough. What happened next?”
SIMILAR ARTICLES & IDEAS:
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Key Ideas
Really see each other
Making eye contact with someone can relieve stress and create a deeper sense of connection.
Even making eye contact with a stranger can soften your heart.
Listen with all of your senses
When you talk with someone in person, notice the posture and body language of the other person. Focus on the tone in their voice. Consider the meaning of their words.
Reach out and touch someone
Touch is a way we communicate and essential to our development. Touch makes us feel safe and encourage trust, love, and compassion.
Reach out to your loved ones and see if you notice a difference.
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Listening requires mental work
Mistakes we make in conversations
- Evaluate: We judge what someone is saying and agree or disagree.
- Probe: We ask questions from our own frame of reference.
- Advise: We give counsel, advice, and solutions to problems.
- Interpret: We analyze others' motives and behaviors based on our own experiences.
What makes a great listener
- Asking great questions;
- Playing attention to the nonverbal communication;
- Forgoing taking detailed notes to pay better attention;
- Listening with the intent to understand, not the intent to respond;
- Making people feel heard;
- Following up on what matters.
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Key Ideas
Participate
- Nod your understanding and make eye contact with the speaker.
- Ask clarifying questions.
- Maintain body language that shows you are interested.
- Avoid...
Ignore Distractions
- Sit up front.
- Tune out or shush any chatter around you.
- Face away from windows and turn off your phone to avoid distractions.
- Identify your prejudices and prevent them from generating an emotional response.
Keep An Open Mind
- Focus on the speaker’s central ideas, ignoring the delivery, the speaker or the emotions and judgments you have on the idea.
- Give the speaker your full attention.
- Listen for the significance of the message.
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