Just because someone didn’t help you before doesn’t mean they won’t help you now. In fact, research suggests they’re more likely to help. Because they want to feel better about rejecting you previously and repair the relationship.

Don’t Hesitate to Circle Back to People

When you ask for help, you may feel inclined to apologize for taking up their time and energy. Don’t. This is a bad idea because putting yourself down makes the other person feel less joy in helping you. Many of us apologize too much anyway.

Don’t Apologize

It’s best to ask one person instead of a group. Pick someone who you think can help you the most, or at least send individual requests to several people at once instead of dropping a line in a group chat. Asking a group leads to the “diffusion of responsibility” phenomenon, where nobody feels like they have to help because they think someone else will.

Pick One Person to Ask

... and be specific about what you want.Don't use phrases like “Can you do me a favor? ", because they are manipulative - they force someone to commit before you tell them what it is you need. A simple “Can you help me with [specific thing]?” will do.

Make It Clear You Want Help

When you ask for help, give the person some kind of timeframe or soft deadline. Phrases like “whenever you can” put more pressure on the person who is already doing you a favor. It’s also nice to offer them a way out if you know they’re busy. It ensures your request for help doesn’t feel like a demand.

Give a Timeframe and an Escape

So, you need some help. It's okay, we all need a hand sometimes. Problem is, a lot of us don't know how to go about asking-so we don't. Well, according to a social psychologist, here's the simplest, most effective way to ask for a favor.

Don’t Apologize

The Best Way to Ask for a Favor

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