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How To Stop Negative Self-Talk

Breathe

When you're overwhelmed,  feel like a failure or paralyzed by fear, it's important to pause and take a deep breath.

It will help slow your increasing heart rate by calming you down and giving you some clarity. 

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IDEA EXTRACTED FROM:

How To Stop Negative Self-Talk

How To Stop Negative Self-Talk

https://www.forbes.com/sites/francesbridges/2019/02/22/how-to-stop-negative-self-talk/

forbes.com

7

Key Ideas

Breathe

When you're overwhelmed,  feel like a failure or paralyzed by fear, it's important to pause and take a deep breath.

It will help slow your increasing heart rate by calming you down and giving you some clarity. 

Acknowledge The Negative Thoughts

You're not going to stop negative thoughts by ignoring them. 

You have to acknowledge them before you can confront them. It's not easy to admit you have doubts, that you are afraid or have reasons to be concerned, but you will never put them to rest in a meaningful way until you acknowledge them.

Consider The Cause

Take some time to consider where these negative thoughts come from and confront them. 

If you're afraid, assuage your fears. Chances are, they are only in your head. If you're experiencing self-doubt, tell yourself that everyone fails and the only way to prove to yourself that you can do this is to start working. Consider the roots of these thoughts so you can address them and work toward silencing them.

Stop Expecting Perfection

Don't expect perfection when you are just beginning.

If you are starting over after a major failure, or you are suffering from self-doubt, try telling yourself it's OK to fail. Flaws and failure are part of life, and once you embrace them, and move forward in spite of them, you will become happier and more self-confident. 

Surround Yourself With Positivity

Surround yourself with things that give you energy and motivate you.

Put on a playlist that gets you moving and in a good mood, play a podcast or a YouTube video of a coach, writer or speaker that motivates and validates you, or a movie that inspires you, or call a friend or family member that always knows what to say when you're having a bad moment, exercise, etc. 

Build A Routine

It's easier to work through negative thoughts if your day is planned and you don't have to think about how to start your day. 

If you wake up at the same time every day, and make the same breakfast and workout at the same time, and walk out the door and arrive at your office at the same time you are not overthinking anything and not getting stuck in your own head. 

Silence Those Thoughts

At first, it will be difficult. The negative voices and thoughts will want to creep in the way they always have, and it will be tempting to let them have their say, but choose to confront them, and create a counter-narrative that's on hand in your head. 

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Take a Break From Social Media

Studies show that social media increases self-criticism. Instead, spend some time paying attention to yourself and how you feel and see your life through your own eyes.

If you cannot be with yourself or speak to yourself respectfully, you shouldn’t expect others to. 

Write Out The Insults You Say To Yourself

Seeing it on a piece of paper will make it more obvious to you how self-deprecating your thoughts really are.

Your thoughts run so swiftly, you may not register it if you’re not paying attention. Writing it allows you to slow down and see the absurdity in your own negative self-talk.

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Establish what you can control

Recognize that in most situations, all you can control is your effort and your attitude. 

When you put your energy into the things you can control, you'll be much more effective.

Your influence

You can influence people and circumstances, but you can't force things to go your way:

  • To have the most influence, focus on changing your behavior. Be a good role model and set healthy boundaries for yourself.
  • When you have concerns about someone else's choices, share your opinion, but only share it once. Don't try to fix people who don't want to be fixed.
Identify your fears

Think about what you could do when failure happens.

Usually, the worst-case scenario isn't as tragic as you might envision. Acknowledging that you can handle the worst-case scenario can help you put your energy into more productive exercises.

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Consider Finding a Therapist

It’s important to know that if your negative thoughts are persistent — impacting your quality of life and functioning — it could be a sign of something more serious. Consult a therapist or psych...

Keep a Journal

Journaling can be great for getting stuff off your chest and to become more self-aware. Often, we are unaware of our negative thoughts and miss the chance of challenging them — but writing regularly can help with that.

You can create a two-column journal. In the first column, keep notes on any self-criticism that comes up throughout the day. Later, rewrite the first column in more empowering or positive ways to reframe it.

Learn How To Take a Step Back

If you’re beating yourself up over something, picture someone that you love in your shoes and think what would you say or do to support them. This allows you to take a step back and practice a little self-compassion, it can help to keep things in perspective.

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