How To Stop Negative Self-Talk

When you're overwhelmed,  feel like a failure or paralyzed by fear, it's important to pause and take a deep breath.

It will help slow your increasing heart rate by calming you down and giving you some clarity. 

You're not going to stop negative thoughts by ignoring them. 

You have to acknowledge them before you can confront them. It's not easy to admit you have doubts, that you are afraid or have reasons to be concerned, but you will never put them to rest in a meaningful way until you acknowledge them.

Take some time to consider where these negative thoughts come from and confront them. 

If you're afraid, assuage your fears. Chances are, they are only in your head. If you're experiencing self-doubt, tell yourself that everyone fails and the only way to prove to yourself that you can do this is to start working. Consider the roots of these thoughts so you can address them and work toward silencing them.

Don't expect perfection when you are just beginning.

If you are starting over after a major failure, or you are suffering from self-doubt, try telling yourself it's OK to fail. Flaws and failure are part of life, and once you embrace them, and move forward in spite of them, you will become happier and more self-confident. 

Surround yourself with things that give you energy and motivate you.

Put on a playlist that gets you moving and in a good mood, play a podcast or a YouTube video of a coach, writer or speaker that motivates and validates you, or a movie that inspires you, or call a friend or family member that always knows what to say when you're having a bad moment, exercise, etc. 

It's easier to work through negative thoughts if your day is planned and you don't have to think about how to start your day. 

If you wake up at the same time every day, and make the same breakfast and at the same time, and walk out the door and arrive at your office at the same time you are not anything and not getting stuck in your own head. 

At first, it will be difficult. The negative voices and thoughts will want to creep in the way they always have, and it will be tempting to let them have their say, but choose to confront them, and create a counter-narrative that's on hand in your head.