Use the right formula
A great formula that puts it all together: “When you [their behavior], I feel [your feelings].”
When used with factual statements, rather than judgments or labels, this formula provides a direct, non-attacking, more responsible way of letting people know how their behavior affects you.
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Someone feeling hurt might use guilt trips when they don’t know any other way to deal with their emotional turmoil. It’s tough to listen if someone won’t admit there’s a problem, but get the discussion started by pointing out their behavior. Then give them space to expres...
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