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Challenge the story

Challenge the story

You can take control of your emotions by asking yourself questions that provoke you out of your victim, villain, and helpless stories.

For example, transform yourself from victim into an actor, by asking: "What am I pretending not to know about my role in this situation?”

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MORE IDEAS FROM THE SAME ARTICLE

Emotions are the result of both what happens, and of the story you tell yourself about what happened.

  • A victim story: it absolves you of your responsibility for what happened.
  • A villain story: it exaggerates the faults of others and makes them responsible for what...

The ability to recognize, own, and shape your own emotions is the master skill for deepening intimacy with loved ones, magnifying influence in the workplace, and amplifying our ability to turn ideas into results.

You can’t change an emotion you don’t own.

Accept responsibility for its existence.  Because an external event always precedes your experience of an emotion, it’s easy to assume that the event caused it. But as long as you believe it was externally caused, you are going to be a victi...

Most people have habitual stories they tell in predictable circumstances as well. 

Early life experiences that we perceived at the time to be threats to our safety and worth become encoded in our potent memories.

Reciting a specific script in moments of emotional provocation (e...

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Make space to create meaning

Provide digital self-assessment tools and the types of personal exploration exercises that facilitate reflection.  

These mechanisms can help employees identify personal sources of fulfillment to make work more meaningful.

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Time Management Is Not A Solution

Most people want more done during the course of the day, feeling productive if they have checked more boxes out of their to-do list. Time management has been a fad for a long time, equating productivity with the number of hours spent working.

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