Being Comfortable With Not Knowing
To feel comfortable with the uncomfortable:
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Run a small experiment where you either purposefully stop early or give yourself hard limits on your work. So you have an opportunity to disprove your perfectionistic beliefs.
Not only will this help you get over your own perfectionism, but it can also highlight places where your effort is better spent.
The more you chase perfectionism, the more likely you are to procrastinate and then get stressed out when things don’t go exactly how you wanted them to.
Research even indicates that even when perfectionists get higher salaries, they are more unhappy with their work.
If a project is at 90%, you’re asking for line-level feedback like typos, glitches, or silly mistakes. At 30%, the reviewer skips over those things (assuming they’ll be looped in later to help with them) and focuses on the broader strokes: structure, strategy, approach.
Using this technique can help curb the socially-prescribed perfectionism in the workplace. It also makes your managers more aware of the status of your projects, and thus less likely to pile more on you.
In sports, the drive for perfectionism is a positive force and turn setbacks into opportunities to reflect, learn, and adjust your approach. But regular perfectionists keep revisiting past failures as a form of self-condemnation.
All this does is cause them to raise the bar even higher, increasing the likelihood of failure. Try to see failure as simply a launching place for success, so you can break away from perfectionism.
Most perfectionists can’t see their standards are unrealistic and bad for them. To find if you’re a perfectionist, ask yourself if your standards:
Try to identify things you avoided due to fear of failure and situations where your perfectionism wasn’t worth it or moments where you did well despite being uncertain.
Your objective here is to learn where perfectionism has a positive impact and where it does not.
Traits of a perfectly hidden depression syndrome
• Your perfectionism is fueled by a constant, critical inner voice of intense shame or fear.
• You demonstrate an excessive sense of responsibility and look for solutions.
• You are unable to accept and express painful emotions.
• You dismiss or discount abuse or trauma.
• You worry a lot and avoid situations where you're not in control.
• You are highly focused on tasks and expectations and validate yourself with your accomplishments.
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