Perfectionism in rooted in fear

If you’re struggling with the thought of submitting a task that you feel is less than perfect, create a list of the worst-case scenarios.

Ask yourself what's the worst that can happen. You'll most likely find out that the only negative aspect is the continuous rumination that'll keep you from finishing other important work.

The positive side of perfectionism is the idea that you possess the motivation and a level of detailed attention that is unmatched by many.

The trouble happens, though, when you get so caught up in the details that you fail to see the bigger picture.

Perfectionism is a growing cultural phenomenon that has engulfed a large set of people including celebrities. Some of the causes are:

• Modern parenting
• Competitive economy
• Consumerism and advertising
• Social Media.

Social Media acts as the biggest culprit in amplifying perfectionism as youngsters can constantly compare their looks and their lives to others in easily measurable ways.

There is an increased expectation from our family and our peers to be perfect in all aspects of our lives.

When trying to broaden your social network, say yes to meeting new people. One acquaintance will always lead to another, fact that could only have a positive effect on your professional life.

When trying to get a better or a different job, relying on the so-called 'weak ties'- that is to say, acquaintances and the like, might prove extremely useful. While your strong connections tend to place you in only one field of activity, the weak ones are more objective and could provide you with new possibilities.

• Self-oriented: when people are highly critical of themselves.
• Other-oriented: when people are highly critical of others.
• Socially-prescribed: when people think others expect them to be perfect and then pressure themselves to be perfect in order to meet those expectations.

• Competitive work environments: If you work in a culture that demands perfection, you’ll probably start demanding perfection.
• Pride and personality: Some persons have personalities that are naturally susceptible to perfectionism.
• Fear of failure: People identify with their failure. They will strive for perfection as self-preservation.

The trait of perfectionism constantly makes a person judge, compare and criticize suboptimal decisions or mistakes in any aspect of the daily routine.

A person starts having mental difficulties, striving to do everything the perfect way, but falling short eventually.

Perfectionism is a voice in our head, constantly fed by the media and society's ideals, coaxing us into doing things in the best way, to get the desired results. 

It is useful in its purpose but in extremities can have negative effects on the body and mind.

Most perfectionists can’t see their standards are unrealistic and bad for them. To find if you’re a perfectionist, ask yourself if your standards:

• ... are higher than those of others.
• ... can be met by you or others.
• ... help or get in the way of you achieving your goals.
• ... can be relaxed without affecting much the end result.

In sports, the drive for perfectionism is a positive force and turn setbacks into opportunities to reflect, learn, and adjust your approach. But regular perfectionists keep revisiting past failures as a form of self-condemnation.

All this does is cause them to raise the bar even higher, increasing the likelihood of failure. Try to see failure as simply a launching place for success, so you can break away from perfectionism.

Work on cultivating personal connections with your colleagues, and allow them to get to know you. 

You don’t have to be “the greatest person in the room” or make sure “everyone is blown away by your charisma.” You just need to have good rapport with your colleagues. That way, they won’t impute negative intentions or motives to you.

Start by giving them your undivided attention in one-on-one situations. Turn your body toward the other person, freeze in place, and listen.

• Visit your primary care doctor. Your symptoms may be from another condition with similar symptoms.
• Ensure your chosen mental health professional is well versed in cognitive behavioral therapy, which involves the active restructuring of anxious thoughts and behaviors.
• Consider skipping the caffeine and other stimulants that may exacerbate anxiety.
• Exercise. Research indicates that routine exercise wards off the development of panic-related disorders.
• Remind yourself that it’s okay to be anxious—in fact, the more demand you put on yourself to not be anxious, the more stressed you become.
• Recognize, identify and cope with your anxiety to stay in control.

Instead of being swept in the spiral of negative thoughts like 'What if I fail? What will they think of me? try to be aware of your physical sensations: how your heart beats, how the air fills your lungs, the heat and sweat you feel.

This will anchor you in the present moment and calm your nerves.

• Make sure you get a good night’s sleep, that you're hydrated and that you had a good meal before. 
• Be careful with your caffeine intake before a big presentation so that your heart rate isn’t already elevated.
• Strike a power pose. Research shows it can shift your mood and make you feel more confident. 
• Own the space. If you can, get to the room early and really imagine owning it.

You need to have a beginning that builds to a middle and an ending, or at least an idea of where you’re going, as it is key to explore your themes and foreshadow things properly.

Another important thing is to revise your writings. Your first draft is likely to contain multiple errors, poorly phrased sections, and inconsistencies.

To do it, you must know what your audience expects from the type of writing you’re doing and then defy it.

Without the surprise, without the twist, if you don’t pull the wool over the audience’s eyes, then it’s unlikely you’re going to be memorable. It’s precisely the fact that things are not what they seem that makes a story interesting.