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Build your resilience
Resilience is how we deal with stress effectively so we “bounce back” after a difficult time.
As we deal with issues that cause tension and strain, we learn to face adversity, deal with significant issues and overcome problems. We learn how to formulate realistic plans and carry them out.
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Used effectively, stress can motivate us to accomplish more than we had imagined possible. Stress can jolt us to reach our potential. Without stress, we’d feel rudderless and without purpose.
However, while a little stress can help us stay motivated, chronic stress can leave us irritable, depressed, distracted and anxious.
- “Good stress”: which psychologists refer to as “eustress,” is the stress we feel when we’re excited about something.
- Acute stress: when something surprises us or catches us off guard. Acute stress is the body’s response to ensure you react and take measures to deal with the unexpected situation. It has no lasting negative effects if we deal with it quickly and move on.
Even “good stress” left to fester unresolved for too long can turn into bad, chronic stress.
Tap into your support system by reaching out to friends and loved ones. With assistance from others, you’ll can face challenges and problems head-on. Doing so will give you a sense of accomplishment and resolution.
The golden rule for dealing with stress is knowing when to say no.
You have to learn to refrain from accepting more commitments than you are capable of handling. Don’t kill yourself trying to make everyone happy and squeeze everything in.
There’s a lot that’s completely out of your control but . In fact, all you have direct control over is yourself and your actions.
You have sway and influence over a variety of other things, but you can only completely control yourself. So stay in control of yourself and don't blame others for your actions.
When you find yourself stuck on something and are rehashing it in your mind, ask yourself whether you’re ruminating or actually problem-solving.
Make sure that you’re focused on seeking solutions, thinking about ways to mitigate an issue or how to prevent problems from blowing up even bigger.
Stress is indicative of change: something is happening and you’re forced to respond to that demand.
Try to condition yourself to see stress as an opportunity and use it to your advantage. Stress can help you embrace change and make any necessary modifications. Stressful situations force us to make adjustments, innovate and be creative.
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Don’t allow yourself to become paralyzed, numb or detached during a crisis situation or a traumatic event. And don’t wait for someone else to come and save the day.
Remind yourself that you’re not at the mercy of events beyond your control; you can always do something.
Self-destructive behaviors can become habits and can continually undermine your success and happiness.
Self-sabotage is when we want something, but somehow we never accomplish it, because somewhere deep in our subconscious we’re fighting against that goal:
- Our disorganization distracts us.
- We’re constantly overthinking all of our decisions.
The "what if" line of questioning induces panic and lets you focus on imagined situations that escalate the problem.
Focus on the facts and work on a solution.