Assigning responsibility to others is sometimes possible, but blame itself doesn’t need to be a part of it:
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We search for a source to our suffering and we tend to settle on people as the source of the misery because we know that people are capable of being responsible for what they’ve done.
It is taking responsibility for what happens to us, regardless of who we might think caused it.
When blame enters the picture, we start rejecting reality itself, which is the very definition of suffering.
Blame is a defense mechanism. What we’re defending ourselves from is our own responsibility for dealing with the unpleasant experience we’ve been given.
The benefit in blame is that it allows us to avoid feeling like we’re failing ourselves, that we lack the strength and maturity to come to terms with the reality of unfairness or bad luck.
Blame is not responsibility. It is the absurd act rejecting the reality we’ve been given and charging an unwilling and perhaps unwitting party with improving it, even if that party is an inanimate object sometimes.
And blaming is not useful.
We can feel safe in pretending that our distress is not evidence of inadequacy in ourselves, but of one in someone else.
We judge ourselves and others morally for things that didn't come out as intended, were unforeseen, or were influenced by factors beyond one's control.
The judgment we should receive is based on how our actions turned out, rather than our intentions, no matter how good they were. This is called 'Moral Luck'.
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