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We search for a source to our suffering and we tend to settle on people as the source of the misery because we know that people are capable of being responsible for what they’ve done.
Blame is a defense mechanism. What we’re defending ourselves from is our own responsibility for dealing with the unpleasant experience we’ve been given.
The benefit in blame is that it allows us to avoid feeling like we’re failing ourselves, that we lack the strength and maturity to come to terms with the reality of unfairness or bad luck.
Assigning responsibility to others is sometimes possible, but blame itself doesn’t need to be a part of it:
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Some people do their parenting in difficult circumstances, and nothing that is done by them as parents is fully under their control.
The good and bad traits that parents possess can find their way in the child, with them having no say as to what the child will eventually become or do.
Due to so many factors at play, parents are relying on good luck, pulling off a gamble on the child that is being raised. They don't have much leverage on the outcome, the net result of the actions of their offspring.
There is an inner paradox, a duality that exists in the minds of parents, which can make them accept and also reject the responsibility they have towards their kids' actions.
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Take personal responsibility for your successes, failures, your health, your happiness, etc.
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... from a blame-based mindset to one of solutions and collaboration.
When you're feeling stuck, unfulfilled or disconnected from who you are, it can be easier to blame outside circumstances and people.
Take a step back in every situation and ask yourself what you did to allow this to happen. Once you are aware of how you contributed to the situation, you can make the necessary changes in your life.
Regardless of what happens to you, be it a disease or a natural disaster, you are 100 percent responsible for how you choose to react.
The life-changing magic happens when you make the choice to respond positively. That is how you take personal responsibility when something completely out of your control makes an impact on your life.