A Guide To Dealing With Difficult People
Turn the situation inward and analyze your triggers and reactions to these situations.
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Separate the facts from your assumptions.
Separate yourself and your reactions from the negative emotions you may be feeling in the moment.
Ask yourself two simple questions when you feel you’re being treated badly or unfairly.
Viewing the world through the lens of the person who triggered you. It doesn’t mean sacrificing your own point of view but rather widening your perspective.
Sometimes your worst fears about another person turn out to be true. She invariably takes credit for your work. When this occurs, begin with this question:
It is all about breathing. Slow, deep breathing actually triggers something at the bottom of your spine called the Vegus nerve, which sends neurotransmitters to the brain that actually calm you down.
Take a moment to reflect on how you feel. Ask yourself questions about how you can respond to a difficult person, or how you can create a good outcome from the situation.
Have a clear sense of self, what causes you tension and where your limits are.
Take care of yourself.
By modeling well-being practices, you not only do good for your own mind and body, but you eliminate second-hand stress for all those around you.
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We are social creatures who desire validation. We feel good when others share our belief system. But we feel dejected when others do not value our inputs, crush our ideas, or ignore what we have to...
We view the world and the people in it from a specific paradigm.
How we relate to someone is driven by our personality, expectations, background, and experience. Why we find someone difficult is then a very personal affair.
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During a difficult conversation, be quick and direct. This is not the time for feedback techniques, as they will mask the point of the conversation and lessen its impact making it more difficult.
Often, the person knows that a critique is coming, so rather than dancing around the subject, just get to it. It’s better for both parts.
Be honest and thorough with your feedback, give examples and fully clarify why you're having the conversation.
The more clarity you can provide, the better the critique will be received.
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Don't try changing people, try understanding them.
When you try to change someone they tend to resent you, dig in their heels, and get worse. The way to disengage a difficult person is to try understanding where they are coming from.
When trying to understand difficult people, search for their value language.
A value language is what someone values most. It is what drives their decisions. For some people it is money; for others, it is power or knowledge.