MORE IDEAS FROM THEBOOK
"When the facts change, I change my mind."
It’s hard enough to get yourself to listen to your team members and let them know you are listening; getting them to listen to one another is even harder.
The keys are:
Sometimes we’re overwhelmed by our work and personal lives, and these are the moments when it is hardest to learn from our results and to start the whole cycle over again. That’s why you are at the very center of the wheel that moves you forward as a manager. You’ve got to take care of yourself, first and foremost. That’s easier said than done, of course.
Your role will be to encourage that process of listening, clarifying, debating, deciding, persuading, and executing to the point that it’s almost as if your team shares one mind when it comes to completing projects, and then learning from their results
There are two dimensions to good managing: care personally and challenge directly.
"Give the quiet ones a voice."
Public criticism tends to trigger a defensive reaction and make it much harder for a person to accept they’ve made a mistake and to learn from it.
"Consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds."
Giving guidance as quickly and as informally as possible is an essential part of Radical Candor.
This simple technique reminds you to describe three things when giving feedback:
1) the situation you saw,
2) the behaviour (i.e., what the person did, either good or bad), and
3) the impact you observed.
Situation, behaviour, and impact apply to praise as well as to criticism.
A great way to get to know somebody and to build trust is to offer Radically Candid praise and criticism
Radical Candor" is what happens when you put "Care Personally" and "Challenge Directly” together.
The most surprising thing about Radical Candor may be that its results are often the opposite of what you fear. You fear people will become angry or vindictive; instead, they are usually grateful for the chance to talk it through.
Here are some simple things you can do to make sure you’re hiring the right people:
Execution is a solitary task. We use calendars mostly for collaborative tasks—to schedule meetings, etc. One of your jobs as a manager is to make sure that collaborative tasks don’t consume so much of your time or your team’s time that there’s no time to execute whatever plan has been decided on and accepted.
Here are a few things you can do to make sure you and each of your reports are getting the most out of these 1:1 meetings:
Mindset: Your mindset will go a long way in determining how well the 1:1s go.
Frequency: Time doesn’t scale, but it’s also vital to relationships.
To build Radically Candid relationships, do not try to prevent, control, or manage other people’s emotions. Do acknowledge them and react compassionately when emotions run high. And do try to master your reactions to other people’s emotions.
It’s important that we attend to our own needs before attending to the needs of others. This assertion may make you feel uncomfortable, particularly if you strive to be loving and giving in all that you do.
But allowing your needs to remain unaddressed while you continuously cater to others is the path toward resentment and bitterness.
Start saying sorry more often
Learn to forgive
Encourage healthy discussions instead of fights
Stop sweating the small things
Don’t jump to conclusions
Make criticism constructive
Spend some time with your family
Don’t nag people, preach or give them unwanted lessons
Never make rash decisions or start conversations when you are feeling angry or moody
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