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Separate The Critic From You
Self-criticism isn’t innate to us, it’s internalized based on outside influences, such as other people’s criticism, expectations, or standards. It’s a habit that can be unlearned or controlled.
One way to separate yourself from the self-criticism is to give it a name. Doing so, you better positioned to free yourself from its influence.
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Our brains automatically look for evidence that matches up with what we believe about ourselves, but often disregards other evidence to the contrary.
To break this automatic tendency, deliberately say something different to yourself and then actively search for evidence that the new statement is true. The more examples you come up with to support your alternate view, the less self-criticism will come around.
Talking back to your inner critic is an important part of taking away its power.
Telling the critic you don’t want to hear what it has to say begins to give you a sense of choice in the matter.
Constantly slowing down and paying more attention to your thoughts will help you notice self-criticism. Negative emotions such as doubt, guilt, shame, and worthlessness are often signs of self-criticism.
Once you are aware of the critical voice, you will be in a position to stand up to it.
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You can limit the negativity by setting up a maximum time for self-criticism or only allowing self-criticism to certain things in your life.
Self-hatred gives us negative thoughts, telling us we are unattractive, lack confidence, and are generally unworthy. If we listen to it, we give it power. We then create a negative shield around us and will have trouble accepting love and compassion.
The internal negative breeding will attract further negativity in our lives and relationships.
Shame works better if we keep it secret. So find the courage to do the counterintuitive thing and tell someone what happened -- invariably those conversations end with laughter.