Worrying is the mental habit of trying to solve a problem that either can’t be solved or isn’t really a problem.
It gives us the illusion of control. Worrying about it won’t change things. But it will lead to a lot of anxiety.
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When we hide our pain and isolate ourselves, we throw away the most powerful antidepressant: loving support from people who care about us.
You don’t need coping strategies when you’re sad discouraged, or helpless. You need people. You need support. You need someone to give you a hug and listen carefully to your story.
Most of us hesitate to push back and stand up for ourselves because we’re afraid of being perceived as aggressive or rude. And so we default to being passive.
But there’s a middle road between being passive and aggressive: You can be assertive. It means standing up for your own wants, needs, and values, in an honest and respectful way.
If you talked to other people the way you talked to yourself, you’d probably have zero friends, no job, and multiple warrants out for your arrest. Why treat yourself in a different way?
Stress management is a Band-Aid. It’s treating the symptoms.
If you’re constantly stressed, the long-term solution is to fix the original cause of the stress (the stressor) not the feeling (the stress response).
Cultivate a healthy skepticism of your own thoughts. Learn to let them be. You’ll be happier for it.
Your thoughts aren’t special. And a lot of them are actively detrimental if you maintain a habit of always giving them tons of respect and attention.
Having good, supportive friendships, a strong marriage or close and loving relationships with our family members will make us much more likely to be happy.
Action steps: Take time, today, to spend time with your loved ones, to tell them what they mean to you, to listen to them, and develop your relationship with them.
It is a practice for training our minds out of the tendency toward automatic worry and rumination. The basic idea is to schedule a short amount of time every day to worry on purpose.
By creating a consistent time and space for our brains to worry, we discourage them from worrying intrusively during inopportune times throughout the day.
It happens when we assume we understand what other people are thinking without any real evidence.
It is a failure of imagination because we often only imagine and focus on the negative aspects.