“Calm down!” - Deepstash
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“Calm down!”

The words "Calm down!" makes people feel criticised and suggests their reasons are invalid for being upset.

Instead of saying, "Calm down," try saying, "It's going to be alright. Talk to me. What's the matter?" It shows that you want to understand the person's circumstances better and are open to talking things through.

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61 reads

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“Because those are the rules.”

Five common truths that apply to people regardless of age, culture, or race, are:

  1. People want to be treated with dignity and respect.
  2. People want to be asked, not told to do something.
  3. People want to know why they are asked or ordered to do something.
  4. People wan...

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61 reads

“Why don’t you be reasonable?”

The question implies that someone is acting out of line and makes people defensive.

First choose words of reassurance, then paraphrase what the perceived problem is. “Let me see if I understand your position…”

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46 reads

“What do you want me to do about it?”

This phrase sounds sarcastic and does not help the conversation. It may also seem like you want to duck responsibility.

Instead, think of ways to help the person solve the problem or point the person toward someone who can help them if you are unable to help. If neither of the options i...

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36 reads

“I’m not going to say this again.”

This phrase is a lie, as most people say it repeatedly.

Instead, try saying in a calm voice, “Listen, it’s essential that you get this point, so pay close attention to what I’m about to tell you.” Another technique is to list what you want the person to do and encourage them to consider...

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27 reads

“What’s your problem?”

The problem with this phrase is that the problem bounces right back onto the person who requires help. It also signals a "you-versus-me" battle rather than an "us" discussion.

Choose to soften your language by asking, "What's the matter?" or "How can I help?"

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48 reads

"Come here!"

"Come here!"

Ordering someone in the office to come to you may feel like you have authority but can damage their respect for you.

Instead, saying in a calm voice, "Would you mind if we chatted for a bit?" or "May I talk to you?" is more effective as people feel they can act of their free will.

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84 reads

CURATED FROM

CURATED BY

jebarr

Copywriter in advertising

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The power of "I want to help"

If you tell someone to calm down, they will probably not calm down.

Instead, validate the person's feelings and assure them you understand. Saying, "I can see you are upset, and I want to help," will go further to calm them.

5. Stay calm

5. Stay calm

You might feel your heart racing or your face turning red, but do whatever you can to remain neutral in both your words and actions. When your body language communicates reluctance or anxiety, it undercuts the message.

Deep breaths can help, as can speaking more slowly and deliberately.

...

Slow down and refocus

To understand your “why” and what motivates you, “you first have to spend time alone,” he adds, especially in today’s fast-paced environment. “Everybody’s walking around looking at their phone. … They go home and flip through channels. They go home and talk on the phone. How are you going to figu...

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