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Bad Leaders React, But Here's What Good Leaders Do

Controlling Your Emotions.

  • Identify your emotional triggers and learn to manage your reactions.
  • Learn and pay attention to the subtle warning signs your body gives when you're starting to react rather than respond.
  • Grit your teeth and count to 10 before you respond, it might not look stylish but words spoken can never take back. They maybe are forgiven, but they are never forgotten. 

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IDEA EXTRACTED FROM:

Bad Leaders React, But Here's What Good Leaders Do

Bad Leaders React, But Here's What Good Leaders Do

https://www.inc.com/gordon-tredgold/good-leaders-know-why-responding-is-better-than-reacting.html

inc.com

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Key Ideas

Controlling Your Emotions.

  • Identify your emotional triggers and learn to manage your reactions.
  • Learn and pay attention to the subtle warning signs your body gives when you're starting to react rather than respond.
  • Grit your teeth and count to 10 before you respond, it might not look stylish but words spoken can never take back. They maybe are forgiven, but they are never forgotten. 

Reacting Vs. Responding

Reacting is when we unconsciously experience an emotional trigger and unconsciously express or relieve that emotion

However, when we respond, we notice how we are feeling, and we consciously decide how we will respond

EQ Versus IQ

Research indicates that Emotional Quotient EQ is what determines how successful you will be as a leader. Most leaders get hired because of their IQ, but promoted or fired because of their EQ.

The good EQ allows you to manage your emotions. It enables you to understand your feelings, manage them and then take time to make the right decision. 

The Impact Of Reacting Rather Than Responding

Leaders set the tone for the organization, and excessive reactions can create a stressful environment. One where people choose not to pass on information or bad news because they fear that it will be the messenger who will get shot.

When we disrupt the information flow, it creates all kinds of issues, it can lead to you not being up to date or informed about what's going on, it can mean that you miss the opportunity to address a critical situation before it becomes a catastrophe.  

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Use assertive communication

Assertive communication allows us to take responsibility for ourselves and our actions without judging or blaming other people.

Emotionally intelligent people know how to communicate ...

Respond instead of reacting

The emotionally intelligent person knows how to stay calm during stressful situations. 

They don't make impulsive decisions and understand that in times of conflict the goal is a resolution.

Utilize active listening skills

Emotionally intelligent people make sure they understand what is being said before responding. 

They also pay attention to the nonverbal details of a conversation. This prevents misunderstandings, allows the listener to respond properly and shows respect for the person they are speaking to.

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Emotional Intelligence Matters
EQ is not only the ability to identify and manage your own emotions, but it’s also the ability to recognize the emotions of others.
Manage your negative emotions
When you’re able to manage and reduce your negative emotions, you’re less likely to get overwhelmed. 

If someone is upsetting you, don’t jump to conclusions. Instead, allow yourself to look at the situation in a variety of ways. Try to look at things objectively so you don’t get riled up as easily. 

Be mindful of your vocabulary

Emotionally intelligent people tend to use more specific words that can help communicate deficiencies, and then they immediately work to address them. 

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Emotional intelligence (EQ)

EQ is the ability to be able to recognize and regulate your own emotions, while also empathizing with others and maintaining an awareness of their reactions.

EQ can be developed with p...

Know thyself

Having a deep understanding of yourself provides you with more accurate perceptions of how you are coming across to others. 

To increase your self-awareness, make an effort to reflect on your strengths, developmental opportunities, triggers, values, and the like so that you are intimately familiar with what makes you tick. 

Be open to feedback and criticism

Weighing feedback can help you guard against blind spots. It can assist you in recognizing if your behaviors are having the effects you are intending.

If they aren't, you can adjust your actions or apologize accordingly (or mindfully choose not to do either).

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Preventing Reactions
  • Am I reacting? Simply asking yourself that question can ground you and give you a quick mental break to perhaps choose differently.
  • You react when you think you don’...
How To Respond Rather Than React
  • When you think about how this specific situation fits into your overall goals and objectives it will be easier to respond.
  • The best decisions are informed by a proper balance of facts and emotions.
  • Mentally move into the future and look back to determine your best response to the current situation.
Acting In Emergency Situations

While responding seems like the prudent choice, in a crisis or emergency situation it may seem that you would logically need to react or operate in a split-second decision mode.

The reality is the best crisis managers are trained and practice a variety of scenarios precisely so they can respond rather than react. The difference is in preparation and thought.

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2. Mind Your Tone

We tend to respond to people using the same tone they use to speak to us.

If you need to have an emotionally charged conversation, speak in a way that's calm and collected. And ...

3. Mute

Sharing your opinion when others are aggravated can be counterproductive. If things get emotional, and you can’t leave, you may need to stop talking and let them express their feelings.

Breathe deeply and remember that moods are temporary. And that their words at this point may be extreme or exaggerated; resist the urge to respond in kind. Often, once they let everything out, they'll calm down. 

4. Record

Recording is concentrated listening, with the intent to learn more about another's perspective. You're not trying to figure out how to reply; instead, you're listening to understand.

As you tune into another, don't judge or offer advice. Instead, focus on learning more about how the other person sees you, how they see themselves, and how they see the situation.

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Emotional Intelligence( EQ/EI)

Is the measure of an individual’s abilities to recognise and manage their emotions, and the emotions of other people, both individually and in groups.

Benefits of a higher EQ
  • Ease in forming and maintaining interpersonal relationships and in ‘fitting in’ to group situations.
  • A better understanding one's own psychological state, which can include managing stress effectively and being less likely to suffer from depression.
IQ and EQ

There is no correlation between IQ and EQ scores.

IQ has no connection with how people understand and deal with their emotions and the emotions of others (EQ). 

You simply can’t predict emotional intelligence based on how smart someone is.

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Emotional Intelligence (EI)
Emotional Intelligence (EI)

EI means the mastery of emotional competencies. 

That includes self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management.

Questions to Measure EI in interviews
  • How do you establish trust? An environment with trust promotes higher working engagement
  • If you worked for your top competitor, how would you beat yourself?  This question could show the candidate's ability to put the good of the organization ahead their own pride.
  • Can you use a belief statement to explain the value of what we offer? Ask a belief statement that gets at the heart of what an organization or team offers.
Emotions

They are basal responses that begin in the subcortical areas of the brain responsible for producing biochemical reactions to environmental stimuli that have a direct impact on our physical state.&n...

Feelings

Feelings are preceded by emotions and tend to be our reactions to them. Emotions are a more generalized experience across humans, but feelings are more subjective and influenced by our personal experiences and interpretations, thus they are harder to measure.

Negative Emotions

They can be defined as unpleasant or unhappy emotions evoked in individuals to express a negative effect towards something.

Although some are labeled negative, all emotions are normal to the human experience. And it’s important to understand when and why negative emotions might arise, and develop positive behaviors to address them.

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Acute Awareness

One of the defining features of emotional intelligence is the ability to comprehend the effects of your feelings.

This is crucial for making sound, objective decisions whe...

Impact Interpretation

Emotional intelligence makes it easier to anticipate and respond to others' sentiments.

Bad news from work can shock or dismay your employees, while good news may make them unreasonably optimistic. Emotional intelligence means you can tell ahead of time how others will react and develop a strategy to keep them grounded.

Mental Health Management

Those with emotional intelligence have an easier time assessing the emotional and psychological state of their employees.

This makes it easier to determine if someone is suffering from: anxiey, depression, grief, trauma or eating disorders. By recognizing these states, you can provide them with the support and professional resources they need to recover.

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Responding with a clear mind

Responding means not jumping to conclusions, seeing the situation from every angle and accepting that your opinion may not be the only one or even the best one.

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Collect yourself

Before reacting, pause and allow your initial emotional reaction to pass. 

Then address the opportunity again, and see how you respond differently. Repeat this process, giving yourself time to work through your old conditioning. Consider going for a drive/a walk. This will give you time to relax and settle your thoughts.

Tune in to your feelings

Clarity is tough when you’re under pressure, so never make an important decision when you’re feeling anxious. 

If you’re not physically or emotionally up to the task, put off making a move until you’re in the right state of mind.

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