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How To Size Up A Friendship
Understanding friendships
Understand why some friends stay for years, while others fade away after a few months, or weeks.
If you understand the nature of the friendship you have with a person, you can better predict where it’s heading, and better understand why this friend behaves the way they do.
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Understanding friendships
Understand why some friends stay for years, while others fade away after a few months, or weeks.
If you understand the nature of the friendship you have with a person, you can better predict where it’s heading, and better understand why this friend behaves the way they do.
Simple Friendships
Helpmate
This one you can ask for lifts to the airport, and call during emergencies like car accidents. You don’t rely on your helpmate for emotional support.
Comforter
You socialize, help each other, and provide emotional support for each other.
This kind of friend is generally present in case of the loss of a family member, a breakup, loss of a job, or similar. You trust each other enough to talk about fears, frustrations, and insecurities; you look to lift each other’s spirit.
Confidant
With this kind of friend, you can support each other emotionally, and you also enjoy each other’s company when you meet. He or she doesn’t necessarily live near you.
With this friend, you can confide in each other about anything, and not just when something bad happens. You talk about your goals, your secret opinions, but also your general life challenges.
Soulmate
You’re committed to being each other’s friends, even without realizing it. Moving away or not meeting for a year won’t change this friendship that much.
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Don't Gossip
Most of us want to be popular and resort to tactics like showing of and gossiping. The long term affects of being a gossip monger (losing trust and respect) outweigh any short term popularity you get.
Don't judge your friends
Most of our judgments towards our friends are wrong, and doing so leads to you being judged wrongly too.
Do not form opinions and pass judgments (not even mentally) and be happy to see your friendships blossom.
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Close friendship
To be best friends, you are committed to always be on standby. It's not that hard to be there for someone when you can physically be there, but when you're separated by state or time zone, ...
Keep creating shared experiences
When you see a friend regularly, you develop a collection of shared memories. You will also have an intimate understanding of what they're up to generally. If you're separated long-term, those experiences will shrink.
It's important to create something you share with the other individual, not just exchanging information about past experiences. The more opportunities you give yourself to connect, the more organically you'll get to know your friend's new life.
It's going to take more effort
The idea that you can sustain a friendship and pick up right where you left off after long stretches of silence is a myth. A relationship grows stronger through nurturing.
Although long-distance hacks can work for a time, there's no replacement for in-person interaction. It's more expensive and more of a hassle, but it's the best way to recharge a long-distance friendship.
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The Non-Question-Asking Friend
No matter what's going on in your life, good or bad, this type of friend will never ask you anything about it.
He is either: extremely self-absorbed and only wants to talk about ...
The Friend You Can't Be Alone With
Not because you dislike each other, but because you have no individual friendship with each other whatsoever.
This makes alone time very awkward for both of you.
The Friend Terrified Of Earnest Interaction
He has tall walls up, at least toward you, and so he builds a little skit for you two to hang out in to make sure any authentic connection can be avoided.
Sometimes that person only does this out of social anxiety and can actually become a great friend if you manage to break through that wall.
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