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How To Size Up A Friendship
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Understanding friendships
Understand why some friends stay for years, while others fade away after a few months, or weeks.
If you understand the nature of the friendship you have with a person, you can better predict where it’s heading, and better understand why this friend behaves the way they do.
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Simple Friendships
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Comforter
You socialize, help each other, and provide emotional support for each other.
This kind of friend is generally present in case of the loss of a family member, a breakup, loss of a job, or similar. You trust each other enough to talk about fears, frustrations, and insecurities; you look to lift each other’s spirit.
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Confidant
With this kind of friend, you can support each other emotionally, and you also enjoy each other’s company when you meet. He or she doesn’t necessarily live near you.
With this friend, you can confide in each other about anything, and not just when something bad happens. You talk about your goals, your secret opinions, but also your general life challenges.
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Soulmate
You’re committed to being each other’s friends, even without realizing it. Moving away or not meeting for a year won’t change this friendship that much.
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Don't Gossip
Most of us want to be popular and resort to tactics like showing of and gossiping. The long term affects of being a gossip monger (losing trust and respect) outweigh any short term popularity you get.
Don't judge your friends
Most of our judgments towards our friends are wrong, and doing so leads to you being judged wrongly too.
Do not form opinions and pass judgments (not even mentally) and be happy to see your friendships blossom.
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Key Ideas
A Friend Indeed
According to a report in The Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, an acquaintance has a chance of being your friend after about 50 hours of shared activity or discussions. A frien...
Benefits of Friendships
Long-lasting, high-quality friendships lower the chance of chronic illnesses, and mortality rates. They boost one’s happiness and can also be a buffer towards anxiety, stress and even depression.
One can consider looking back and reconnect with a lost but cherished friend for emotional support or to relive the long-forgotten times.
Considering Reviving A Friendship
- We need to ask ourselves if a certain friendship is even worth resuscitating, or if one of us has moved on to such an extent that we really don’t recognize the person any more.
- The circumstances of growing apart also matter. If it was betrayal or a falling out, the process of getting back may require reconciliation and may not be easy.
- People evolve due to the various life events that happen in the course of their lives, like medical issues, marriage, children or a divorce. It’s important to keep one’s guard up, as the person that one gets to meet after years might be a complete stranger in some ways.
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Key Ideas
The importance of friends
Having a weak circle of friends carries the same risk as smoking 15 cigarettes a day.
Researchers suggest that the core factors in a happy life are the number of friends, the closeness of f...
Reconnect with old friends
You have probably met a large number of friends through just a handful of people. Those are your superconnectors. Rekindle those friendships and ask them if there is anyone you should meet.
Connecting to people
Don’t be interesting. Be interested.
- Listen to people and ask them to tell you more.
- When they mention something you have in common, point it out.
- Be enthusiastic and encouraging.