Friendships require <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/basics/attention">attention</a> and tending — if we don’t truly know what a friend needs, and if we don’t clearly state what we’re feeling or needing ourselves, friendships just won’t survive.

Listen to your friends

There’s no rule that says you have to love what your friend is wearing, who your friend is <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/basics/mating">dating</a>, how your friend is raising her kids or any other choices your friend is making. There is an unspoken rule that you don’t bash your friend’s choices to others behind her back. Gossip damage reputation.

Don’t talk behind a friend’s back

Respect your friends’ boundaries as well as their stories. Some friends may have a difficult time letting people get close to them for <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/basics/fear">fear</a> of being hurt. Don’t crowd your friends — give them the space they need to feel comfortable, and let the relationship deepen over time.

Respect your friends' boundaries

No one promises to bring perfection to a relationship. If you’re able to admit when you’ve failed to hold up your end of the relationship, it’s a lot more likely that a friend will be able to forgive and move forward.

Forgive when you can

Friendships are built on mutuality and reciprocity — be there for her, so that she will be there for you.

If you can’t be straight with her or feel the need to hide your actions or tell untruths, the relationship is being built on shifting sand and won’t be able to withstand any real challenges.

Support, trust, and honesty

Assume the best and give your friend the benefit of the doubt. If you’re quick to assume the worst and ready to lay down blame, you’re not going to be the kind of friend that anyone wants for the long haul.

Ditch the judgment

When it comes right down to it, there is no more valuable social capital than friendships. These are the relationships that can stand the test of time and distance and roll with the punches when things get a little dicey.

Support, trust, and honesty

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