Nostalgia is overrated - Deepstash

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How to be best friends for ever: don't cancel, fight like siblings and make new memories

Nostalgia is overrated

If you start every conversation with, “Hey, remember that time when… ?” you and your friend will die of boredom.

You need new things, new memories, rather than using nostalgia as the glue holding a friendship together. Living in the past can make you both feel emotionally stunted and a bit stale.

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Be a regular

The best way to have friends is to interact with the same person regularly.

Look for activities where the same core people show up. Keep showing up yourself. 

Talk about yourself

Share some details of your life more freely so that your conversation partner doesn't have to interrogate you. If you feel uncomfortable talking too much, give yourself permission to stretch and grow.

Be the conversation starter

Most people are secretly scared of getting rejected.  Assume that people like you and act in kind.

Don't wait for them to start a conversation. Say "hello." They might be relieved you took the initiative.

Focus on Being Open

Don't worry about being rejected, or that you might not be fun enough.  

Be open and inviting.

Make a List

Make a list of people that you would like to get to know better.

Consider extending an invitation and see what happens.

Put It On the Calendar

Decide when you are going to ask someone to do something together.

Schedule these initial contacts to ensure that you won't keep putting it off.

Develop and maintain friendships
  • Look for friends with common interests. 
  • Schedule a "first date. There is nothing wrong with inviting someone for coffee or dinner because you think you have so...