The theory of the 3 selves

Regret can be seen as a mistake that we haven't learned the proper lesson from yet. If we learn from it, that mistake becomes helpful and makes us better.

The way to move on is to take responsibility for your mistakes. Understand what happened and integrate that experience into your understanding of who you are today.

Our narratives are the way our minds construct events to explain our feelings and experiences. 

They are seldom accurate and often unhelpful, but we need them to hold our sense of self in place.

Reasons people usually use:

• Thinking you have more in common with the person you're dating than you actually do;
• Being in a relationship just to avoid loneliness;
• Staying in a relationship only out of fear of losing the person.

Bad relationships cloud your judgment, prolong your unhappiness, and distract you from things that matter to you most. 

Learning from your mistakes is one thing. Dwelling on them wastes your time, diminishes your confidence, and keeps you from getting on with your life.

Dwelling makes you feel like a failure. When you feel like a failure, it’s easy to tell yourself there’s no point in trying, because you already suck.

Try connecting with your manager on a regular basis, clearing the work goals and priorities of the coming weeks or months.

Ensure that this line of communication is open so that there is clarity on both sides.

Just like setting priorities, there has to be a regular touchpoint system established, for checking in and getting queries solved.

Maintaining regularity of the meeting is imperative, though there are bound to be cancellations due to other priorities of your boss. It helps to take this into account and pushing for the meeting nonetheless.

We make excuses for the following key reasons:

• Fear of Failure
• Fear of Embarrassment
• Fear of Success
• Fear of Change
• Fear of Uncertainty
• Fear of Responsibility
• Fear of Making Mistakes
• Perceived lack of confidence or resources

The moment you start acting on something, you are at the beginning of the end of the anxiety associated with that thing.

Many procrastinators are pessimists and overestimate the difficulty of the task they are avoiding. They think doing it is the hard part. But not doing it is much harder.

National surveys find that when someone claims to have 5 or more friends with whom they can discuss important problems, they are 60 percent more likely to say that they are ‘very happy’.
Excerpt from the book Finding Flow.

True friends really are worth their weight in gold. Check in regularly with close friends (around every two weeks).

Self-esteem is good for confidence, but self-esteem that is bound to external success can be quite fickle. 

Think of yourself less and avoid the trap of tying your self-worth to external signals.

• Propose “moonshot” ideas, knowing that 90% of them will get shot down, but that if one of them gets accepted, it will be a huge boost to your career.
• Be excessively bold in your dating life, stating exactly who and what you want.
• Buy difficult books expecting that most of them won’t be useful to you, but also that, occasionally, one will completely change your life.
• Say yes to every invitation knowing that most of the events/people will be boring, but that occasionally you’ll meet someone really interesting.

Most of us are afraid of messing thing up. But we rarely ask, “Would I regret that failure?” If the answer is “no,” then that is absolutely a risk you should pursue.

Sometimes, the right decision becomes crystal clear when put into these terms.

It’s human nature to linger on feelings of regret. We look back and think that missed opportunities(real or not) could have set us on a different, possibly more rewarding path. Unchecked, these emotions become overwhelming sources of stress and anxiety.

• Acknowledge how you cope with regret: ignoring it makes it more present
• Stop the regrets spiral, until you are ready to face the situation with more clarity
• Revisit the story and identify practical lessons you can learn from it
• Treat yourself like your ideal mentor would
• Ask yourself why you feel regret and work backward to identify the values that are tied up in your feelings
• The cure for anticipating regret isn’t feeling lousy or overthinking, but pursuing solutions, using the wisdom gained through self-reflection.

Before charging money, it is recommended that you give people a taste of your services first if you want to turn your passion into profit.

For instance, if its photography, just offer to take photos for relatives for free. Surely, they would like to save money. This is how you establish yourself and prove your mettle to your potential clients.

You should be able to combine your chief interests with the other skills that you might possess.

If you are let’s say, planning to sell cakes, what is that other thing you are good at along with being a great baker? If you are also good at digital marketing, you can blog about baking practices.