Learn more about loveandrelationships with this collection
Understanding the psychological rewards of bad habits
Creating new habits to replace old ones
Developing self-discipline
Listen actively
Be curious about your partner’s point of view rather than trying to anticipate every situation. Active listening involves:
- Paying attention to your partner.
- Tolerating your silence.
- Paying attention to your partner’s nonverbal communication.
- Reflecting and paraphrasing what your partner is saying: I hear you say you feel angry when I ….. Is that what you are saying?
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Leave the past
Bringing up past behavior to defend the present day stance hinders your relationship from moving forward.
After an argument, always move forward with a fresh slate. Resurrecting old wounds will increase the intensity of your discussion and steer it in an entirely differe...
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Your non-verbal behavior
Communication is much more than what you say. In addition to words, you also communicate through:
- Tone of voice
- Eye contact and facial expression
- Your gestures and posture
- Nodding
- Clenched jaw
- Balled up fists
- Rolling e...
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Spend quality time together
Having fun together brings you and your partner closer. Pick a common hobby or have regular date nights.
The closer you are, the more you are inclined to share your innermost thoughts and feelings.
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Voice your love
Research shows that when you look at your partner in the eye even in time of conflict and say, ‘I love you,’ the brain is prompted to release bonding hormones.
Many spouses only voice their love when they are content with the status of the relationship. Your expression of love f...
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Focus on the positive
Experts recommend that for any conversation, you should have a 5 to 1 ratio of positive to negative statements.
Comparing your partner negatively to someone will be counterproductive to your discussion. Also, stay away judgment words and loaded terms....
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Just Communicate
It is difficult to discuss some sensitive subjects, and we are tempted to avoid them. Other times we simply expect our partners to know what we are doing, thinking or what we want.
It is much better to get things out in the open regularly rather than waiting to have big rows...
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Ensure the timing is correct
While you want to tell your partner everything, it is wise to find the correct time to do so.
Something that may be rejected if you express it now may actually be heard or considered by your partner if you bring it up at a different time.
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Focus on one issue at a time
Even if you have a few issues that you feel the need to discuss, experts advise that you bring up a maximum of one item per conversation.
If you ignore this rule, you will overwhelm your partner with your avalanche of criticism, and he/she will shut down. Eventually, nothing w...
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Mind your language
How you say something is as important as what you say.
- Do not use extremes. Accusations such as, ‘you never,’ ‘you always’ do not add any value to your argument.
- Use ‘I’ statements emphasizing how you feel, rather than ‘you.’
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Be honest with each other
Speak up when you are hurting, or you disagree with your partner.
Do not pretend to be happy if you are not. Honesty will help you and your partner to solve problems more efficiently.
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When you are wrong, own it
Taking responsibility for your actions shows that you are mature.
Remember, there is no shame in admitting that you made a mistake. What is illogical is adopting an egoistic stance that prevents you and your partner from moving forward.
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Prioritize your emotional intimacy
During intimacy, hormones that are responsible for bonding and attachment are released. The more you are attached to your partner, the better your communication becomes.
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Communication needs improvement if:
- You are having trouble getting through to your spouse; you talk about the same issue over and over again without coming to an agreement.
- You seem unable to have a decent conversation without turning it into an argument.
- You fear to bring up certain topics.
- You do ...
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Show respect
Put the feelings of your partner before your need to be understood.
Even when you are arguing, be careful what you say and how you say it. An angry or dejected partner is less likely to engage in a conversation effectively.
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CURATED FROM
CURATED BY
"And in the end, the love you take, is equal to the love you make…" ~ The Beatles
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