How to Improve Communication in Relationships and Increase Intimacy
Be curious about your partner’s point of view rather than trying to anticipate every situation. Active listening involves:
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It is difficult to discuss some sensitive subjects, and we are tempted to avoid them. Other times we simply expect our partners to know what we are doing, thinking or what we want.
It is much better to get things out in the open regularly rather than waiting to have big rows that might damage your relationship.
Communication is much more than what you say. In addition to words, you also communicate through:
Put the feelings of your partner before your need to be understood.
Even when you are arguing, be careful what you say and how you say it. An angry or dejected partner is less likely to engage in a conversation effectively.
Having fun together brings you and your partner closer. Pick a common hobby or have regular date nights.
The closer you are, the more you are inclined to share your innermost thoughts and feelings.
Speak up when you are hurting, or you disagree with your partner.
Do not pretend to be happy if you are not. Honesty will help you and your partner to solve problems more efficiently.
While you want to tell your partner everything, it is wise to find the correct time to do so.
Something that may be rejected if you express it now may actually be heard or considered by your partner if you bring it up at a different time.
Taking responsibility for your actions shows that you are mature.
Remember, there is no shame in admitting that you made a mistake. What is illogical is adopting an egoistic stance that prevents you and your partner from moving forward.
Even if you have a few issues that you feel the need to discuss, experts advise that you bring up a maximum of one item per conversation.
If you ignore this rule, you will overwhelm your partner with your avalanche of criticism, and he/she will shut down. Eventually, nothing will be solved.
Bringing up past behavior to defend the present day stance hinders your relationship from moving forward.
After an argument, always move forward with a fresh slate. Resurrecting old wounds will increase the intensity of your discussion and steer it in an entirely different direction; far away from a resolution.
During intimacy, hormones that are responsible for bonding and attachment are released. The more you are attached to your partner, the better your communication becomes.
Research shows that when you look at your partner in the eye even in time of conflict and say, ‘I love you,’ the brain is prompted to release bonding hormones.
Many spouses only voice their love when they are content with the status of the relationship. Your expression of love for your partner should not be dependent on the atmosphere.
How you say something is as important as what you say.
Experts recommend that for any conversation, you should have a 5 to 1 ratio of positive to negative statements.
Comparing your partner negatively to someone will be counterproductive to your discussion. Also, stay away judgment words and loaded terms.
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Use a technique called “active listening” - a form of listening in which you acknowledge that you understand what is being said.
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Making eye contact with someone can relieve stress and create a deeper sense of connection.
Even making eye contact with a stranger can soften your heart.
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Touch is a way we communicate and essential to our development. Touch makes us feel safe and encourage trust, love, and compassion.
Reach out to your loved ones and see if you notice a difference.
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