When and Where To Speak Up - Deepstash
When and Where To Speak Up

When and Where To Speak Up

Being humiliated in public is not a great feeling to experience and it is important to note that regardless of what your stance may be, it's best to not air out your opinions in a public area.

You need to find the most suitable time to talk to this person and better if done in a private area so that there won't be eavesdropping.

However, if you want to mitigate the risk of any possible complications, you should establish a process for disagreement ahead of time -- even before the disagreement arises.

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MORE IDEAS FROM How to Disagree with Someone More Powerful

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Before speaking your mind, do a risk assessment first. Weigh out the consequences of what could possibly happen if you decide to speak up or keep quiet.

Moving forward, after thinking that through, take the moment to build up your case first by researching data, gathering studies or reports that would build a stronger case, and find colleagues who share the same sentiment.

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How To Say It

This is the most important part so read carefully.

  1. It is important that you stay calm regardless of what the other person's reaction may be. Breathe deeply and speak deliberately.
  2. Stay humble. Remember that your opinion is just your opinion. Allow the other person to express their thoughts about your opinion without you getting up on the high chair.
  3. Stay neutral and avoid using adjectives that will have a negative impact to the conversation.
  4. Remember to keep balance. Be respectful to the other person while being firm about your stand.

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What To Say

When your are firm and prepared here's what you should do:

  1. Clearly state your idea or proposal, should there be any rebuttal of their end --
  2. Ask permission before disagreeing, so that it won't seem like you're being defensive --
  3. Connect your idea or proposal to a shared goal that the both of you care about, this will leave room for conversation.

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RELATED IDEA

Our natural bias is to start by imagining all the things that will go horribly wrong if we disagree with someone more powerful. Yes, your counterpart might be a little upset at first, but most likely you are not going to get fired or make a lifelong enemy. 

Consider the risks of not speaking up first, then realistically weigh those against the potential consequences of taking action.

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Getting Negative Feedback

... is not the best thing to happen at work. It normally leads to a racing mind, emotional discomfort and increased blood pressure.

We may try to defend ourselves, or brush aside the feedback. We can also be stuck in a loop of negative thoughts.

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The Fallacy Of Arguments

The fallacy of our seemingly perfect argument lies in the fact that we assume that the other person is reasonable and logical, just as we are. That is not true in both cases.

Most of us have gotten into an argument where no matter how hard we try, we cannot seem to get through the other person. Our perfectly logical and easy-to-understand explanation isn’t enough to close the argument, and that feels frustrating.

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