When preparing to tell someone what they did wrong, avoid using qualifications like "With all due respect," "No offense," or "Don't take this the wrong way" to soften criticism.
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If people feel you support their fundamental views and value them, the change will be easy and natural.
Criticism without an action plan is worthless.
Give people direction or keep your mouth shut.
For example, in saying "You were lazy in preparing this report" you may think you are helping the other person to improve a skills; instead, it addresses your assumption about the person's attitude toward their work.
Objectivity is crucial to constructive criticism.
The goal is to communicate that a performance standard has not been met. Your sentiments/judgments are irrelevant.
Be concrete and don't sermonize, even if the person that's receiving your criticism knows she did something wrong.
... and if you must amplify your message, say where your data came from. Never try to simultaneously be a good cop and a bad cop.
Make it clear that your goal is constructive change.
Specific vocational skills are essential - coders should be able to code, salespeople should be able to sell. But, we also need soft skills. By only focusing on the seemingly essential skills, we've reduced the value of the skills that actually matter.
What separates thriving organizations from struggling ones is the "soft" skills. These skills are not negotiable.
...If you’re bad at communicating in your relationship, miscommunications will only get worse in your marriage.
If you don’t have respect for one another, you won’t gain it by getting married. You’ll probably lose it even more.
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