We find kindness ‘boring’ - Deepstash

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6 Reasons We Choose Badly in Love

We find kindness ‘boring’

We find nice people instinctively boring and unsexy. This usually has its roots in a troubled past, which makes us unusually unforgiving towards genuine kindness.

If we knew ourselves better, we would find out that some of our potential partners feel wrong because we know they will be unable to deliver the sort of suffering that we’ve grown up to feel is essential to our sense of feeling loved.

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Your point-of-view

Your point-of-view about money can be skewed. Thoughts can include:

  • You have to spend money to make money.
  • You need to make money to be rich.
  • Being friends with rich people will make you rich too.
  • The goal is to have it all.

These ideas have no use in terms of actually making money or living a fulfilling life.

Rich people 

Rich people are not all obsessed with money. Some talk about money but they understand that their money does not equate to their inherent value. They don't act entitled to anything. They work hard for what they want.

It is called class. You can't buy it. If you find yourself with a friend like this, you can trust them and learn from the ways they look at life.

Know your worth

Know what you are worth with or without money. You don't need money to be creative. Lacking resources can motivate you to think outside the box.

Witnessing value exchanges with affluent family friends can also benefit you.

We don’t ask big questions

Big questions referring to is the meaning of life matter deeply because only with sound answers to them we can direct our energies meaningfully, but most of us get shy expressing them. - Alain de Botton

Philosophy = thinking for yourself

Philosophers are interested in asking whether an idea is logical–rather than simply assuming it must be right because it is popular and long-established. - Alain de Botton

Philosophers were the first therapists

Philosophers teach us to think about our emotions, rather than simply have them. By understanding and analysing our feelings, we learn to see how emotions impact on our behaviour in unexpected, counterintuitive and sometimes dangerous ways.  - Alain de Botton

What confidence is

Confidence is often seen as an elusive trait that others have but you don’t.

The truth is confidence is what appears after you go for what you want; it is the result of stepping into the unknown in spite of feeling nervous or fearful.

Tall posture

How you hold yourself physically plays a big part in how you hold yourself mentally.

In order to begin to feel and look confident, stand tall, shoulders & head back, being aware of what is around you, and keeping hand motioning to an absolute minimum.

Change your environment

Changing your environment changes the stimuli that are going into your brain—this affects your moment-by-moment perception of the world.

Think of places you frequent where you feel your most creative, happiest, relaxed. Aim to go to these places when you feel low in confidence.