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20 Habits Happy Couples Have (But Never Talk About)

Practice self-care as individuals

Your disappointments in your partner often reflect your disappointments in yourself. Your acceptance of your partner often reflects your acceptance of yourself. 
Thus, the first step to having a healthy relationship with someone else is to have a healthy relationship with yourself.

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IDEA EXTRACTED FROM:

20 Habits Happy Couples Have (But Never Talk About)

20 Habits Happy Couples Have (But Never Talk About)

http://www.marcandangel.com/2015/02/11/20-habits-happy-couples-have/

marcandangel.com

15

Key Ideas

Practice self-care as individuals

Your disappointments in your partner often reflect your disappointments in yourself. Your acceptance of your partner often reflects your acceptance of yourself. 
Thus, the first step to having a healthy relationship with someone else is to have a healthy relationship with yourself.

Stand together

Don’t let outsiders run your relationship for you. If you’re having an issue with your partner, work it out with THEM and no one else.  

The relationship is unique

Don’t compare your relationship to anyone else’s – not your parent’s, friend’s, coworker’s, or that random couple whose relationship seems perfect.  Keep in mind that all relationships have their ups and downs.

Focus on what you two share, and make your unique bond the best it can be.

Accept each other

The foundation of love is to let those we care about be unapologetically themselves and not distort them to fit our own egotistical ideas of who they should be. Otherwise, we fall in love only with our own fantasies, and thus miss out entirely on their true beauty.  

Give your partner your support and grow together.

Make time for each other

If you neglect your relationship, your relationship will neglect you too. 

In relationships, distance is not measured in miles, but in affection. Two people can be right next to each other and yet miles apart. So don’t ignore the one you love, because lack of concern often hurts more than angry words.

Communicate

Your partner is not a mind reader. Share your thoughts. Give them the information they need rather than expecting them to know the unknowable.  

The more that remains unspoken, the greater the risk for problems.  Most problems, big and small, within a relationship, start with bad communication.

Listen intently before replying

Don’t listen so you can reply, listen to understand. Open your ears and mind to your partner’s concerns and opinions without judgment. Look at things from your partner’s perspective as well as your own.

Practice the golden rule

In a healthy relationship, you get what you put in. You get nothing less and nothing more. There is no room for selfishness. If you want love, give love. If you want to see a smile, give a smile.  

Don’t be concerned with who’s right; be concerned with loving and being loved, caring and being cared for.

They cheer for each other

Having an appreciation for how amazing your partner is leads to good places – productive, fulfilling, peaceful places.  

Be happy for them when they’re making progress.  Cheer for their victories.  Celebrate their accomplishments, and encourage their goals and ambitions.  Challenge them to be the best they can be.  

Discuss your goals and dreams

Having regular discussions with each other about goals, dreams, passions and the future, in a way that’s positive and inspiring, will not only bring you closer, but it will also bring your collective desires closer to reality.

Negotiate and compromise

Since people’s needs change over time, and life itself demands change too, the inner workings of good relationships are negotiated and re-negotiated all the time. And oftentimes a two-way compromise is the best solution.

Don't blame

Blaming accomplishes nothing.  Take responsibility for your actions.  Take responsibility for your relationship – the good times and the bad.  

Either you both take equal ownership of the problems you two encounter or the problems will own both of you.

Taming your anger

When you feel anger surging up and you want to yell that vulgar remark on the tip of your tongue, just close your mouth and walk away. Don’t let your anger get the best of you. Give yourself some time to calm down and then gently discuss the situation.

Apologize immediately

Making up after an argument is central to every happy relationship.  A simple, honest “I’m sorry” is usually the most important step.  

Respect each other’s humanness

Even the happiest couples on earth are still just two humans.  And all humans are imperfect.  

Stand beside the one you love through their trying times of imperfection. If you aren’t willing to, you really don’t deserve to be around for their perfect moments either.

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Go to bed at the same time

Happy couples resist the temptation to go to bed at different times. 

They go to bed at the same time, even if one partner wakes up later to do things while their partner sleeps.

Cultivate common interests

Don’t minimize the importance of activities you can do together that you both enjoy. If common interests are not present, happy couples develop them. 

At the same time, be sure to cultivate interests of your own; this will make you more interesting to your mate and prevents you from appearing too dependent.

Trust and forgiveness

If and when they have a disagreement or argument, and if they can’t resolve it, happy couples default to trusting and forgiving rather than distrusting and begrudging.

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Rekindling the Fire

Many couples have reached a cozy state of companionship. The humdrumness of life affects the long-term relationship.

It is not uncommon to lose the 'fire' and is unrealistic to expect consis...

Love Progression

As the initial stage of love fades away, a deeper, richer sense of each other should take its place, and couples can find more ways to make things interesting and fun.

Look With New Eyes

Staying curious about each other and finding things, memories, places, and activities that are yet to be shared or experienced together is a great way to rekindle the relationship.
Revisiting your past and finding ways to connect better by looking at the other with 'new' eyes makes us see many things that were overlooked earlier.

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Go Sooner Than Later

Most couples don't consider counseling until a real crisis or a catastrophe appears.

It is better to go to couples counseling during a specific life event, strengthening some piece of a rela...

Finding The Right Therapist

Finding a suitable therapist, right for both the partners can take time. Take into consideration:

  • Both partners are comfortable with the choice.
  • Any preferences (gender or cultural background) are taken into account.
  • It should be convenient to schedule an appointment with him, not interfering with other commitments too much.
  • At least two kinds of counselors are spoken to, and then a decision taken.
  • Check online for recommendations or ask for a referral within your friend circle.
Types of Therapies

A good therapist can utilize multiple approaches and will tailor the provided therapy based on the couple's needs. The common therapies are:

  • Gottman Method: Focused on positive communication
  • Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT): helps couples with their emotional needs.
  • Imago Relationship Therapy: Connecting new relationships with old ones.
  • Other approaches like Hypnosis, sex therapy, etc.

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