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Your disappointments in your partner often reflect your disappointments in yourself. Your acceptance of your partner often reflects your acceptance of yourself.
Thus, the first step to having a healthy relationship with someone else is to have a healthy relationship with yourself.
Don’t let outsiders run your relationship for you. If you’re having an issue with your partner, work it out with THEM and no one else.
Don’t compare your relationship to anyone else’s – not your parent’s, friend’s, coworker’s, or that random couple whose relationship seems perfect. Keep in mind that all relationships have their ups and downs.
Focus on what you two share, and make your unique bond the best it can be.
The foundation of love is to let those we care about be unapologetically themselves and not distort them to fit our own egotistical ideas of who they should be. Otherwise, we fall in love only with our own fantasies, and thus miss out entirely on their true beauty.
Give your partner your support and grow together.
If you neglect your relationship, your relationship will neglect you too.
In relationships, distance is not measured in miles, but in affection. Two people can be right next to each other and yet miles apart. So don’t ignore the one you love, because lack of concern often hurts more than angry words.
Your partner is not a mind reader. Share your thoughts. Give them the information they need rather than expecting them to know the unknowable.
The more that remains unspoken, the greater the risk for problems. Most problems, big and small, within a relationship, start with bad communication.
Don’t listen so you can reply, listen to understand. Open your ears and mind to your partner’s concerns and opinions without judgment. Look at things from your partner’s perspective as well as your own.
In a healthy relationship, you get what you put in. You get nothing less and nothing more. There is no room for selfishness. If you want love, give love. If you want to see a smile, give a smile.
Don’t be concerned with who’s right; be concerned with loving and being loved, caring and being cared for.
Having an appreciation for how amazing your partner is leads to good places – productive, fulfilling, peaceful places.
Be happy for them when they’re making progress. Cheer for their victories. Celebrate their accomplishments, and encourage their goals and ambitions. Challenge them to be the best they can be.
Having regular discussions with each other about goals, dreams, passions and the future, in a way that’s positive and inspiring, will not only bring you closer, but it will also bring your collective desires closer to reality.
Since people’s needs change over time, and life itself demands change too, the inner workings of good relationships are negotiated and re-negotiated all the time. And oftentimes a two-way compromise is the best solution.
Blaming accomplishes nothing. Take responsibility for your actions. Take responsibility for your relationship – the good times and the bad.
Either you both take equal ownership of the problems you two encounter or the problems will own both of you.
When you feel anger surging up and you want to yell that vulgar remark on the tip of your tongue, just close your mouth and walk away. Don’t let your anger get the best of you. Give yourself some time to calm down and then gently discuss the situation.
Making up after an argument is central to every happy relationship. A simple, honest “I’m sorry” is usually the most important step.
Even the happiest couples on earth are still just two humans. And all humans are imperfect.
Stand beside the one you love through their trying times of imperfection. If you aren’t willing to, you really don’t deserve to be around for their perfect moments either.
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