Since people’s needs change over time, and life itself demands change too, the inner workings of good relationships are negotiated and re-negotiated all the time. And oftentimes a two-way compromise is the best solution.

Negotiate and compromise

Your partner is not a mind reader. Share your thoughts. Give them the information they need rather than expecting them to know the unknowable.  The more that remains unspoken, the greater the risk for problems.  Most problems, big and small, within a relationship, start with bad communication.

Communicate

When you feel anger surging up and you want to yell that vulgar remark on the tip of your tongue, just close your mouth and walk away. Don’t let your anger get the best of you. Give yourself some time to calm down and then gently discuss the situation.

Taming your anger

Don’t listen so you can reply, listen to understand. Open your ears and mind to your partner’s concerns and opinions without judgment. Look at things from your partner’s perspective as well as your own.

Listen intently before replying

Don’t compare your relationship to anyone else’s – not your parent’s, friend’s, coworker’s, or that random couple whose relationship seems perfect.  Keep in mind that all relationships have their ups and downs.Focus on what you two share, and make your unique bond the best it can be.

The relationship is unique

The foundation of love is to let those we care about be unapologetically themselves and not distort them to fit our own egotistical ideas of who they should be. Otherwise, we fall in love only with our own fantasies, and thus miss out entirely on their true beauty.  Give your partner your support and grow together.

Accept each other

Even the happiest couples on earth are still just two humans.  And all humans are imperfect.  Stand beside the one you love through their trying times of imperfection. If you aren’t willing to, you really don’t deserve to be around for their perfect moments either.

Respect each other’s humanness

In a healthy relationship, you get what you put in. You get nothing less and nothing more. There is no room for selfishness. If you want love, give love. If you want to see a smile, give a smile.  Don’t be concerned with who’s right; be concerned with loving and being loved, caring and being cared for.

Practice the golden rule

Making up after an argument is central to every happy relationship.  A simple, honest “I’m sorry” is usually the most important step.

Apologize  immediately

Having regular discussions with each other about goals, dreams, passions and the future, in a way that’s positive and inspiring, will not only bring you closer, but it will also bring your collective desires closer to reality.

Discuss your goals and dreams

If you neglect your relationship, your relationship will neglect you too. In relationships, distance is not measured in miles, but in affection. Two people can be right next to each other and yet miles apart. So don’t ignore the one you love, because lack of concern often hurts more than angry words.

Make time for each other

Having an appreciation for how amazing your partner is leads to good places – productive, fulfilling, peaceful places.  Be happy for them when they’re making progress.  Cheer for their victories.  Celebrate their accomplishments, and encourage their goals and ambitions.  Challenge them to be the best they can be.

They cheer for each other

Don’t let outsiders run your relationship for you. If you’re having an issue with your partner, work it out with THEM and no one else.

Stand together

Blaming accomplishes nothing.  Take responsibility for your actions.  Take responsibility for your relationship – the good times and the bad.  Either you both take equal ownership of the problems you two encounter or the problems will own both of you.

Don't blame

Your disappointments in your partner often reflect your disappointments in yourself. Your acceptance of your partner often reflects your acceptance of yourself.  Thus, the first step to having a healthy relationship with someone else is to have a healthy relationship with yourself.

Practice self-care as individuals

Written by Angel Chernoff // Nothing in this world is more difficult than love. And nothing is more worth it. A happy couple is not a 'perfect couple' that comes together, but an imperfect couple that learns to enjoy each other's differences, and works together every day to create something special.

The relationship is unique

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