10 Tips to Advise Wisely: How to Give Advice That Actually Helps
If you don’t know how someone feels, let them know that you haven’t been there before, but you’ll try to put yourself in their shoes to help as best you can.
Also, don’t be afraid to let them know you don’t have anything to say. You can still be an ear, take some time to think about it, and then share your thoughts later.
This is a professional note extracted from an online article.
Read more efficiently
Save what inspires you
IDEA EXTRACTED FROM:
If you feel the need to offer unsolicited advice, ask them, “Do you want some ideas to improve the situation?”
This way they have the option to say no, and they’ll likely give you more attention when they’ve agreed to take your help.
The best way to be a friend is to allow them to tell the story repeatedly. Then they need to work through it and let it go.
Tell them you’re there to listen to everything they need to say. Once they’ve gotten all out, you’d love to help them move on.
When someone comes to you for help, they’re trusting you to hear them out without being judgmental or condescending.
Focus on what they can do or change right now. Try something like, “It might help to consider….”
It can feel gratifying to figure out what seems like the answer and then deliver it in a sermon.
It can come off as superiority. Instead, try, “I don’t have all the answers, but I’d love to help you figure out what’s right for you.” Whenever you’ve talked for a few minutes, bring it back to them. “What are your thoughts about that?”
Your friend doesn’t just want tips to switch careers; she wants support in making a scary but positive change.
It doesn’t matter so much that you have all the answers. More often than not, people know what’s right for them; they just want to feel validated and supported.
Even if you’ve been there before, you can’t guarantee any specific outcome. Your friend could approach her boss exactly like you did for a raise and end up being demoted—at which point she might blame you.
Keep expectations realistic by focusing on possibilities within the realm of uncertainty. Weigh the possible outcomes, both positive and negative.
When you make the proactive decision to find answers for yourself, you feel both empowered and confident in your ability to make the right decision.
You can help your friend feel that way by pointing him in the direction of a few books that will help him help himself. Start by saying, “I came across something that might help put things in perspective…”
Be there with kindness instead of words. This is a good approach if you’ve already offered advice on the problem, and realize not much you say will help.
Leave a hand-written “thinking of you” card in that person’s mailbox or mail them a package with some sweet treats and light reads.
Plan a fun weekend getaway or day trip with your friend. Set the date in stone and make an unforgettable memory. People often find answers for themselves when they get away, let themselves relax, and clear their head for a while.
SIMILAR ARTICLES & IDEAS:
This underscores the importance of starting on the right foot. If you upset the person you’re trying to help, they’ll wall themselves off.
It's important to use empath...
To get someone to act on your advice, it’s going to mean giving up at least some of the credit for it.
When the person receiving your advice feels like they had a hand in creating it—with guidance from you, the expert, of course—they’re far more likely to act on it.
In this case, you’re showing your work because it instills trust, and trust is critical for acceptance.
When you show you work, the person you’re advising doesn’t have to take your recommendations on blind faith. They can see exactly how you got to your advice and buy into it along the way.
2 more ideas
It is the ability to manage our own emotions and react to the emotions of others.
People who exhibit emotional intelligence have the less obvious skills necessary to get ahead in life,...
4 more ideas
It happens when one rushes to provide advice, which is most likely to be discarded or ignored, even if the person was asked for it.
Even with good intentions, providing advice isn’...
When someone mentions a problem, it most likely isn’t the core problem but only an outward symptom.
Even if by some miracle one is able to find out the real problem, it does not mean that the advice doled out will be useful or will be implemented.
Most people are ignorant of their ignorance and live in a self-created bubble of superficial knowledge, which they believe is the only true knowledge there is, due to a cognitive bias known as the Dunning-Kruger effect.
A piece of straightforward advice doled out to be followed to the tee, is often due to lack of knowledge, rather than because of it.
3 more ideas