Appreciation Rather Than Judgment - Deepstash
Appreciation Rather Than Judgment

Appreciation Rather Than Judgment

Instead of focusing on what you don't like and trying to change your partner with judgment, appreciate what is wonderful about him/her. This doesn't mean avoiding problems, as it is vital to learn from the difficulties but being judgmental is detrimental to love.

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MORE IDEAS FROM THEARTICLE

Learn To Love Yourself

Do the inner work you need to do to be happy on your own. If you don’t take responsibility for your life and feelings or often judge and harm yourself, you will meet someone who is also abandoning themselves in various ways.

We meet each other at our common level of self-abandonment or health, so do the work you need to do to feel happy, peaceful and full of love inside. 

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Take It Slow

For a sexual relationship to be deeply satisfying on the physical as well as on the emotional level, there needs to be deep caring and connection.

It’s important to distinguish the euphoria of infatuation from love, the latter only comes over time. Beware of those who want to rush things as it is often a sign of neediness and narcissism.

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Don't Shy Away From Conflict

Much can be learned from how you each deal with conflict, and avoiding it keeps you from that knowledge. 

An inability to resolve conflict is a major reason why in-love feelings fade away.

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Ask In-Depth Questions

Ask the important questions -- about values, money, children, religion/spirituality, past relationships.

If you are afraid to be forthright in your questions, then the fear itself is letting you know that your fear of rejection may be in charge -- which means you have more inner work to do.

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Solutions To Basic Communication Mistakes
  • Criticism: complain without blame.
  • Content: regularly express appreciation, gratitude, affection, and respect for your partner.
  • Defensiveness: accept responsibility, even if only for part of the conflict.
  • Stonewalling: stop any conflict discussion and call a timeout.

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