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Relationship Advice: 5 Choices To Help You Stay In Love

Appreciation Rather Than Judgment

Instead of focusing on what you don't like and trying to change your partner with judgment, appreciate what is wonderful about him/her. This doesn't mean avoiding problems, as it is vital to learn from the difficulties but being judgmental is detrimental to love.

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IDEA EXTRACTED FROM:

Relationship Advice: 5 Choices To Help You Stay In Love

Relationship Advice: 5 Choices To Help You Stay In Love

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/relationship-advice_b_2329771

huffpost.com

5

Key Ideas

Don't Shy Away From Conflict

Much can be learned from how you each deal with conflict, and avoiding it keeps you from that knowledge. 

An inability to resolve conflict is a major reason why in-love feelings fade away.

Ask In-Depth Questions

Ask the important questions -- about values, money, children, religion/spirituality, past relationships.

If you are afraid to be forthright in your questions, then the fear itself is letting you know that your fear of rejection may be in charge -- which means you have more inner work to do.

Take It Slow

For a sexual relationship to be deeply satisfying on the physical as well as on the emotional level, there needs to be deep caring and connection.

It’s important to distinguish the euphoria of infatuation from love, the latter only comes over time. Beware of those who want to rush things as it is often a sign of neediness and narcissism.

Learn To Love Yourself

Do the inner work you need to do to be happy on your own. If you don’t take responsibility for your life and feelings or often judge and harm yourself, you will meet someone who is also abandoning themselves in various ways.

We meet each other at our common level of self-abandonment or health, so do the work you need to do to feel happy, peaceful and full of love inside. 

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Why You Self-Sabotage

For many people, the fear of rejection and the fear of engulfment keep them out of relationships.

These fears are based on false beliefs, such as success or failure defines my worth as...

How You Self-Sabotage

Relationships:

  • You keep yourself isolated.
  • You make so many demands on your partner that he or she feels smothered and ends the relationship.
  • You judge everyone you meet as not being good enough for you.

Work:

  • You keep putting off looking for the kind of job you want.
  • You are able to work, and say you want to, but keep living off other means.
  • You stay in a job that you hate.
  • You keep yourself uneducated regarding doing what you really want to do.
Healing Your Self-Sabotaging Behavior
  • Notice self-judgments.
  • Shift your definition of your worth, from outcomes to effort. Decide that you will define your worth by the loving actions you take for yourself and others.
  • Consciously see mistakes and failure as stepping stones to success, rather than as definitions of your worth. 
  • Learn to be kind and compassionate toward your own feelings
  • Make a decision that you are willing to lose another person rather than lose yourself. 
Rekindling the Fire

Many couples have reached a cozy state of companionship. The humdrumness of life affects the long-term relationship.

It is not uncommon to lose the 'fire' and is unrealistic to expect consis...

Love Progression

As the initial stage of love fades away, a deeper, richer sense of each other should take its place, and couples can find more ways to make things interesting and fun.

Look With New Eyes

Staying curious about each other and finding things, memories, places, and activities that are yet to be shared or experienced together is a great way to rekindle the relationship.
Revisiting your past and finding ways to connect better by looking at the other with 'new' eyes makes us see many things that were overlooked earlier.

5 more ideas

Learn to be rational in unstable moments

When feeling stressed and as having lost control of the things, try taking a moment of break. Then, think reasonably about the cause of your behaviour and calm down as much as possible. Furthermore...

Be compassionate

When the ones around you lose their patience and start taking it out on you regarding things only they are responsible for, show compassion. Being compassionate towards other always goes a long way. And it almost always pays off, as when the storm has passed, people remember who helped them patiently.

The three reasonable responses

Whenever you meet someone else in distress, make them go through the below filter in order to get to the root of the issue:

  • How can I help?
  • I am sorry things did not work out as expected
  • Please take your time to think about all this and let me know if you need me
    It might not make any difference to you, but it will mean a lot for them in these moments.