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6 Steps to Improving Emotional Intimacy with Your Partner

Be curious

Appreciating the why of where your intimate partner is coming from is a powerful means of building empathy (without giving up your own opinion) and empathy is deeply intimate. 

Making the effort to understand another person demonstrate a deep degree of caring even in the context of disagreement.

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6 Steps to Improving Emotional Intimacy with Your Partner

6 Steps to Improving Emotional Intimacy with Your Partner

https://psychcentral.com/blog/6-steps-to-improving-emotional-intimacy-with-your-partner/

psychcentral.com

6

Key Ideas

Do something meaningful together

Connection-deepening activities are ones that get you focused on each other as people — and on your relationship. 

Take a scenic drive to get ice cream, clean the tub together, or take a cooking class.

Be curious

Appreciating the why of where your intimate partner is coming from is a powerful means of building empathy (without giving up your own opinion) and empathy is deeply intimate. 

Making the effort to understand another person demonstrate a deep degree of caring even in the context of disagreement.

Be available in a new way

Surprise them by agreeing to take care of a chore you usually protest/avoid; offer to accompany them on something you usually take a pass on; or surprise them with something they care about. 

Surprise generosity is a huge intimacy booster.

Make a “Nice” list

Try sitting down individually or with your partner and creating gratitude or “Nice” lists, detailing as many things as possible that you appreciate and/or enjoy about your partner. 

Even if you do it on your own, it will help you refocus on points of connection that drew you to them initially and regardless of all the irritations we inevitably face in the course of intimate relationships.

Invest in yourself

Investing in yourself, your wellness, and your personal development are an important part of your health as a couple. When you are feeling your best and in touch with how you are thinking and feeling, you can participate more fully, mindfully, and meaningfully.

Be brave, not aggressive

Avoidance destroys intimacy. If you and your partner are mutually or individually avoiding a challenging topic that needs to be addressed, you are slowly eating away at your connection.

The vulnerability required to start a difficult conversation communicates to your partner that you are more invested in the health of the relationship than avoiding personal discomfort.

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Make small talk

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Shared experiences
We feel closer to others when we can talk about the experiences we have in common. 

Words are not necessary for shared feelings to improve a relationship. Just doing something at the same time—riding bikes, watching a movie, or eating dessert, intensifies both pleasant and unpleasant experiences.

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Knowing that you are being heard is one of the experiences most likely to cement a feeling of connection to another. 

Use a technique called “active listening” - a form of listening in which you acknowledge that you understand what is being said. 

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