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The Art of Productive Disagreement
Most of us are weary of disagreement, so a claim that disagreement can be productive is intriguing.
Some of the common misconceptions with respect to disagreement are:
- Arguments are bad.
- They change people’s minds.
- They come to an end.
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595 reads
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The Three Truth About Disagreements
- Truth 1: Arguments aren’t bad – They’re signposts to issues that need our attention.
- Truth 2: Arguments aren’t about changing minds – They are about bringing minds together.
- Truth 3: Arguments don’t end – They have deep roots and will pop back up again and again, asking us to...
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293 reads
Don’t Listen To The Three Bad Voices!
The voice of possibility encourages us very explicitly not to do what the other three voices – power, reason and avoidance – have made habitual in us, which is to find a way to uproot and kill the conflict. We need to develop ‘honest bias’ and listen to the fourth voice of possib...
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The Psychology Of Disagreements: The Voice Of Reason
This is the internal voice which will tell you things such as “Why?” or “That doesn’t add up”. The voice of reason is all about using reasons to shut down a debate. Benson argues that the voice of reason works best in situations where you have disagreements with people who share respect for the s...
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159 reads
The Psychology Of Disagreements: The Voice Of Power
This is the internal voice that will tell you things such as “Take it or leave it” or “My way or the highway”. The voice of power isn't the ultimate conflict-resolution strategy, because you can’t argue with sheer force. Benson states that this what power does – it forcibly closes down arguments ...
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The Psychology Of Disagreements: The Voice Of Avoidance
This is the internal voice that tells you things such as “I would prefer not to” or “Leave me out of it”.
Conflict avoiders have identified flaws in the voices of power and reason and so have chosen to address conflicts by simply refusing to participate in them in the first place.
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The Voice Of Possibility At Work
Make use of the following steps to implement the fourth voice:
- Watch how anxiety sparks inside the mind.
- Talk to your internal voices.
- Develop honest bias – There is no cure for bias, but we can develop an honest relationship to our own bias with self-reflection.
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How To Stop Anxiety To Overtake Your Disagreement
- When you notice anxiety, pause and ask yourself: are you anxious about what is true, what is meaningful, or what is useful?
- Ask the other party the same question. Do they give the same answer or something different?
- Narrate out loud what each of you is anxious about. Reiterat...
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The Psychology Of Disagreements: The Missing Voice
The fourth voice, which is missing during a disagreement is the voice of possibility.
This muted voice seeks to make conflict productive. This voice resonates in questions like:
- What are we missing?
- What else is possible?
- What else can we do with what we have?
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145 reads
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The art of productive disagreement.
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The art of disagreement
Mastering the art of considerate disagreement means expressing your beliefs without shutting down the discussion or angering the other side.
For this to happen, you have to listen more, be willing to change your perspective on disagreement and learn to better your arguments.
The Realms Of An Argument
There are three different realms of an argument:
- Head-based arguments are about the truth, based on facts and verifiable information.
- Heart-based arguments are about meaning, personal taste and moral values.
- Hand-based arguments are about usefulness...
Memories: Our Sense Of Self
Memories, the vivid remembrances of our past, can be highly subjective. Most of us assume that memories are rigid and infallible, but they can never be the exact representations of the past because they were not copied in our minds with perfect fidelity.
Many of our memories change over ti...
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